Your Idiotic Deed For Today


Mosch

Reeks of fish
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Early in the morning. I get up, cursing the day god invented 6 AM. Not quite awake yet, but aware that 3 hours of sleep are not much at all. A fuzzy world of darkness exists around me, I only find my way out of my room by instinct. The flow of time is inconsistant.... I know there is a world between reality and dreams, and at the moment I'm the only one occupying it.
My feet touch stone. I sense a door nearby. Good, I need a shower to wake up. I'm not entirely sure if this is only a dream. Maybe it's one of those meaningful dreams, like losing all your teeth as a symbol for fear of impotence, or hundreds of starving bunnyrabbits symbolizing your paralyzing terror of carrots. I had a bunny rabbit once. He was really cute. Had very nice fur. I liked petting him.
Focus! Take a shower. First of all open the door... good, we managed to do that. We're making progress, the door was obviously not part of a dream. Dreams are not wooden. Shower to my right.... ah, good old shower. Soon your well temperated water will wash the sleep away. Let's grab a towel. No, wait, that one's too small. Ah, here it is, a nice clean towel. Into the shower with me.
Ah. Exceptional. Though I feel kinda... strange. The water feels weird. Not on my head, but on my skin. As if I'm under sedation... I feel kinda heavy.
I look down at my body and come to an important realization: If you want to take a shower, undress before you turn on the water.

Your turn. Tell us your stupid actions for today so we may share a laugh.
 
I thought I was reading the opening paragraph of a text adventure :lol:

.. erm, I just made a cup of green tea, and almost put soymilk in it. That would have been a disaster .. whew!

</not very funny story>
 
I had sex with my gf and while undressing, my underpants ripped. Now my balls dangle out of my boxers. Which is most unpleasant. Either way I am way too lazy to buy new ones, so I gues I will just wash them an wear them all over again, until they turn into a giant G-string.
 
TelcoLou posted on Mar 7 2007 at 06:21 PM said:
I thought I was reading the opening paragraph of a text adventure :lol:

.. erm, I just made a cup of green tea, and almost put soymilk in it. That would have been a disaster .. whew!

</not very funny story>


North



xnopasaranx posted on Mar 7 2007 at 06:35 PM said:
I had sex with my gf and while undressing, my underpants ripped. Now my balls dangle out of my boxers. Which is most unpleasant. Either way I am way too lazy to buy new ones, so I gues I will just wash them an wear them all over again, until they turn into a giant G-string.

Funniest thing i've read today... :D
 
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xnopasaranx posted on Mar 7 2007 at 10:35 AM said:
I had sex with my gf and while undressing, my underpants ripped. Now my balls dangle out of my boxers. Which is most unpleasant. Either way I am way too lazy to buy new ones, so I gues I will just wash them an wear them all over again, until they turn into a giant G-string.
hahahahaha. oh, thanks for putting that in my mind <_< :p
 
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xnopasaranx posted on Mar 7 2007 at 01:35 PM said:
I had sex with my gf and while undressing, my underpants ripped. Now my balls dangle out of my boxers. Which is most unpleasant. Either way I am way too lazy to buy new ones, so I gues I will just wash them an wear them all over again, until they turn into a giant G-string.
ffs xnopasaranx, how am I supposed to sleep tonight??
 
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Safe in the knowledge that you're wearing a fresh pair of boxers...
 
Nova posted on Mar 7 2007 at 07:11 PM said:
Safe in the knowledge that you're wearing a fresh pair of boxers...
no no, i wear nothing under my pants. Or to sleep.



lol sorry i had to contribute to the horrible-image-ness of the thread :rolleyes:
 
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daclassicgamingmaster posted on Mar 7 2007 at 05:17 PM said:
Nova posted on Mar 7 2007 at 07:11 PM said:
Safe in the knowledge that you're wearing a fresh pair of boxers...
no no, i wear nothing under my pants. Or to sleep.

wm.jpg


I believe that's what's known as "freeballing".
 
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I realized this thread was still here and figured that I should share my retarded experience today.


So im in my college today, and it's time for me to grab lunch before my excessively long math class (1 hour 45 minutes ;) ). So I eat, and go to class. The time is 12:00 noon.

My teacher comes in, complains she's feeling like shit, and dismisses us with homework. "great" I think, my next class is at 2:00PM. Time to do some essays at the good ol' computer lab.

So I leave, and walk through the hall. I arrive at the lab, completely checked out as it's my personality to be a complete fucking dingbat on an almost daily basis. I'm an aquarious ;)


I start doing my work, finish what I intended to do, check gp32x, some paintball sites looking for new stuff, etc. Now it's necessary for me to say that these computers are set to auto sign you out after 2 hours, as to give people waiting a chance if they require it.....

I'm browsing a site, and I get a 10 minute warning to save my work. "huh??", I think. That's not possible, I haven't been here for almost 2 hours already! it must take time from the entire day and add it together? Because I WAS on a few hours earlier doing a paper. I sign out, and sign back in, thus replenishing my time. I look at the computer clock, as it's convenient....time says 1:00. I'm thinking I have another hour here.

So I do more browsing, work, and anything else to consume time. At 1:56PM I sign out and walk to my next class.


I walk in. "Hiiiiiiiiiiii Kris" says my instructor, who was in the middle of the test review I had been looking foward to. The class is in full swing. The class collectively laughs at my clueless face. I give her a funny look and glance at the clock: 3:00PM- 15 minutes until the class ends. That's when it hit me.....


Daylight Savings. The computer clocks were never updated. I had literally been on the computer for 3 hours but not realized it. I couldn't have been any more embarrassed and pissed off at that point.


Now obviously things happen, and while you slap yourself on the head most of the time, there are times like this when small details you look back upon cause you to beat yourself for hours. I'm still banging my head that I did this!

1. I was reaaaaaaaaaaaaly checked out today. When I sat in the math class briefly I knew the time was 12 noon. Upon reaching the computer I looked at the clock at the bottom of the screen and thought "wow, 11AM?? I have 3 hours of free time? What will i do to pass it??"

2. My theory about the 2 hour limit possibly carrying over doesn't make sense in retrospect. I had signed off from hours before, and when I signed off and back in this time, the time reset, thus assuring me I was right.....but that couldnt be, as it reset now, it reset BEFORE AS WELL.

3. Was I in a bloody coma for 3 hours? Time didn't seem to pass at all.


I cant fucking believe this happened. At least the teach laughed when I told her. She has a great sense of humor ;)

Time to go to sleep and wake up tomorrow, starting fresh ;)
 
Last year I went all the way through without adjusting a single clock or watch around me to daylight savings :lol:
 
And last year, DST worked on computers...I guess congress truly is the opposite of progress.

However I do enjoy the other effects of DST, but not the bad implementation "lets just change something as important as time without allowing slow-ass Microsoft (and others) to catch up first".
 
Nice one DCGM :lol: .
Hey, I've got a good one aswell... How about this: I return from a half-year-long journey and log on to my favorite internet forum where I leave a new thread named something like "I am back you mofos" for people to salute me and my glorious adventures. three fucking weeks later, after posting on the board wildly I am thinking: "Holy crap, I wonder if I should post a new thread announcing that I am actually back. I think I have never done that. Otherwise people might think: oh, no updates of his weird odyssey, why is he online so much". So being the absolute full scale moron that I am, totally oblivious that I had already made that post, I commence to sign my own integrity's death and prove to everyone, once again, that I am a pothead.

Thank you very much ladies and gents.... god was that embarrassing.

I mean, if noone had noticed, I probably wouldn't have. But someone had to post a link to the old thread. SHIT! lol


EDIT: Spelling.
 
Today I discovered that Clios aren't designed for going around extremely tight bends at 50mph on a wet surface. I was driving home from the office, nice and merrily along a quiet country road and there was a slight drizzle. I was coming up to a bend and started slowing down, but completely forgot how tight the bend is. I basically ended up slamming the brakes on as fast as possible, putting the steering on full lock and dropping down to 2nd all at once. Luckily the bend was just on a junction that I was coming to, so I ended up skidding onto the road (In the direction I wanted to go anyway :lol:).
 
The other day at work, I cut a reasonably sizable chunk off my left nipple.
 
Nova posted on Mar 22 2007 at 06:51 PM said:
The other day at work, I cut a reasonably sizable chunk off my left nipple.

Details .. NOW! :ph34r:
 
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I work in a supermarket at the moment, replenishing shelves and stock, basically a shelf-stacker. A lot of the time, I am retrieving things from a large walk-in freezer, so understandably my nipples are like bullets a lot of that time.

Now to open up sealed boxes, all us shelf-stackers are given a special kind of knife, called a "safety" knife. It looks a little like this:

bigfish104afdaewx9.jpg



Now, after a particularly long spell in the freezers, I was absentmindedly standing around, doing very little of any interest, when a call came over the radio for a "Mr Schmidt". Now you probably didn't know this, but in this certain supermarket chain, if a customer has been seen shoplifting, they'll put out a call for a Mr Schmidt to go to the aisle where the crime is occuring. Obviously due to the dull nature of the job, when something like a shoplifting occurs, it's a nice refresher, and we can all pitch in with the blocking off of the aisles to prevent escape. In a flurry, I shoved the knife into my breast pocket and hurried off.

I got onto the shop floor, and noticed there were a lot of people staring at me, but at the time, didn't pay much attention to it. I reached my section manager and asked what was up, and he gave me a strange look, and said "You aware your tit's bleeding?". I looked down to see that my shirt had turned red around my left nipple area, where it had slipped into the knife's entry point, and due to the force of the insertion into my pocket, cut a considerable nick out of my nipple.

Obviously, that's when the pain kicked in.

I'm still not sure whether it'll grow back properly, at the moment, it looks like a winking eye...
 
Sorry about this, but :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: that's the funniest non-lethal accident story I've ever heard!!!

I'd say a custom member status is in order :lol:
 
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