Here is my setup for mounting various elements of the system. With this, I have managed to reduce the overall usage of the RAM, and KDE works better.
/etc/fstab:
rootfs / auto defaults,noatime 1 1
proc /proc proc defaults 0 0
devpts /dev/pts devpts mode=0620,gid=5 0 0
usbfs /proc/bus/usb usbfs defaults 0 0
tmpfs /var/volatile tmpfs defaults,size=1% 0 0
tmpfs /run/shm tmpfs mode=0777 0 0
/dev/mmcblk1p2 swap swap defaults 0 0
/dev/mmcblk0p2 swap swap defaults 0 0
By default, I have swap partitions on both SD cards, so that I can always have swap, regardless of how many SD cards I have in pandora - see the swapon/swapoff utils for details on managing swap.
/etc/default/tmpfs:
RAMLOCK=no
RAMSHM=no
TMPFS_SIZE=1%VM
RUN_SIZE=1%
LOCK_SIZE=26214400 # 2.5MiB
SHM_SIZE=1%
TMP_SIZE=1%
I have 1GHz pandora with 512 MB RAM, and with this setup, I have managed to keep the RAM usage to around 300-400 MB and that is while running KDE, postgresql, apache, and several firefox and terminal windows, and development instance of django. So far, I haven't seen more than 50 - 100 MB of swap usage. I have copied the scripts from pandora that do the setup, because I still haven't had time to check all of them and clean them from the stuff I don't need, but I have disabled zram because I don't need it.
System is very responsive and usable. And of course, the parameters depend on what you do.
I'm using KDE because I'm toying with KDE and python, but I guess that for XFCE and some other lightweight X managers the RAM usage would be even less.