I believe you have called it auto-destruct.
The subculture I have spent most of my life in typically guess with male and female. Occasionally I slip up and use it with outsiders (or with those with the same background, but in different social settings). This is far from the worst example of bad form I use. I could go on to explain how it, surprisingly, fits to use those terms in most situations even with changing social concerns of today, as a over 20 years ago it allowed me to be open-minded enough to accept people how they intended to present themselves (something much of the Western world is still struggling with, including the subculture I made reference to), but we have stayed pretty far off topic for a bit already. Although not technically first from a biological standpoint, or even when dealing with those that don't fit the gender binary mold, it works for me most of the time. Fuck norms.
I use "they" when trying to ensure an individual's privacy (check many of my past posts). "It" seems equally accurate. Think about when someone asks about a baby. Or other animals and plants. Referring to a vehicle, ship/boat or car/truck, as "she/her" is common ("he/him" is Lee common, although not unknown...a car I inherited is a "he") yet has no sex or gender, or even thinks about itself. I have no issues being called "it", and kinda prefer it in some situations. Fuck people forcing their ways on others.
And how is that a problem?