Captainbubby
Member
- Joined
- Dec 13, 2004
- Messages
- 226
Well, it's been sufficient months since this incident happened so now I can finally look back on this incident and laugh. This story is regretably fact, not fiction.
Our story begins in Hong Kong, around May. Hong Kong has an awful humid summer, so hot in fact that were I to throw some stuffing and a life turkey down my pants, I could have it roasted by the time I walked to the train station.
As some of you might know, I'm a primary school English teacher at a school in Hong Kong.
The constant sweat and humidity had taken it's toll on poor ol' Captainbubby. So much so that he was developing nappy rash and that so much skin had been rubbed off between his thighs that there was actually and indentation in his leg and incredible pain.
In fact, I'm pretty sure I was down to my last layer of skin. It took several minutes for me to walk down the hallway to the office. My parents were visiting and waiting at my apartment; so more than ever, I wished to go home hastily, though I knew I could not survive the walk to the train station.
I decided to journey to the staff toilets where I thought I could wrap some toilet paper around my legs to stop the friction peeling away my skin as I walked. Alas, I soon found out that there was no way to secure the paper around my legs so I ended up having to make "toilet paper overalls" which would go over my shoulders and then down again. I finally made my toilet paper overalls and slowly put my shirt back on over them and waddled my way out of the staff toilets slowly, slowly, ever so slowly. I waved hello to a passing parent, trying to look as casual as possible and not scream in agony due to the pain. Suddenly, the shoulder strap of my toilet paper overalls broke, little bits of toilet paper streaming down my arm like a broken pinata. What didn't stream out of my shirt slowly fell down my back and accumulated into a rather embarrasing lump at the back of my pants.
I could see by the parent's eyes that they were curious as to what was going on... I suddenly decided to walk as normally as I could to the staff room, wincing as I could feel the skin from my thighs feeling off with each step.
Within, I managed dispose of the toilet paper, thus reducing the lump that had accumulated.
Next, came the epic hellish gauntlet...The stairs down to the ground floor.
Slowly but surely I made my way down the stairs, holding onto the railings like my life depended on it.
Once I reached the playground, I saw my friend Lui, one of the P.E. teachers. I confided in him and told him my problem. I've never seen someone have a look of pure amusement and pitty at the same time, as if someone had seen their parents shot in front of the TV during the funniest scene of the movie.
I suddenly saw the Coke Vending Machine.
"What If I stuck a cold coke can down my crotch in the area of friction!" I said.
He replied, shortly after breathing a few times to ensure that his lung did not collapse, "Good idea."
I slowly made my to the drinks machine and bought one cold can of, I believe lemon peach tea and hobbled into the PE storage room. "Well I might as well drink it first, I mused". I opened the can and drank the sweet nectar within. The sharp part where the tab was broken which worried me a little, but I was determined... With newfound hope, I put the can down my pants and marched out the door, a new man...
Unfortunatly I made two mistakes, one was emptying the contents of the can, making it hollow and the other, thinking that this would work.
I walked past yet another parent, this time I had no silly toilet paper lumps to worry about I thought as I waddled along.
Unfortunantly, the can, being hollow slowly began to crinkle and bend, a rather horrible sound. I've never had someone look so directly and intently at my crotch before, in what seemed like hours I slowly averted my gaze from the parent and turned it down towards my pants, something was definantly wrong...There was an un-natural cylindrical lump around my pants which was making metalic sounds whenever I would walk.
When you're a primary school teacher, it doesn't look good whenever genitals and foreign objects are involved.
I pretended to look through my bag, thus covering the noticable area and hobbled my way out.
The can wasn't working...I soon realised as I hobbled along the road. As I was slowly crossing the road, I saw a group of high school girls, the perfect "noise cover" with their loud talking and their giggles. The girls chatted and chatted and for once, I was glad for their noise, the crackling from the can was not at all noticable with their noise.
Suddenly one of the girls answered her mobile phone and walked to the corner of a nearby bus depot. The girls stopped and followed her too.
"Well dagnammit! I'm not losing my voice cover!" I pretended to fumble through my bag; thus, giving me an excuse to stop as well. No doubt a crush or a current boyfriend, the high school girl whispered shyly into her phone, her other friends blabbing along. My cantonese isn't perfect but I could tell that the conversation became strained...The girl on the phone started to tremble, I don't think her boyfriend was giving her good news. Her friends all stopped talking, looking worriedly at their obviously upset and currently speechless friend. At that exact moment of complete uncomfortable silence, my mobile phone rang, It was set to vibration ring, it wouldn't make a sound, just vibrate. Suddenly.. all heads were on me...the vibration of the phone in my pocket touched the can near my crutch, creating what can only be described as a jackhammer-esque vibrating sound, clearly coming from my crotch. Like Quasimodo, I hobbled off into the sunset, not turning back to explain, afterall, what could I say?
I quickly went into the nearby toilet area of the bus depot, answering the phone as soon as I could. As I reached down to take the phone from my pocket I felt a sharp pain. "Hello..." I whimpered....There was a hesitant "hello?" in reply. It was my father...from my whimpery hello, he probably mistook me for Michael Jackson. "When are you coming back? Connie (my wife) said you normally come home at 6:00! It's 6:30 now"
"Dad..." I said, "I think something terrible just happened.."
"What??" he replied worridly...
"I believe I've punctured my scrotum....."
_______________________________________________________
An old man looked on curiously as I fumbled around with my hands down my pants...
Truly regretting having drank the contents of the drink, I managed to untangle my scrotom from the sharp opening of the can.
The old man jumped as a metalic clang hit the floor. "I'm free!" I thought.
I hobbled out of the restroom and off into the sunset...
In what was supposed to be a one hour trip home, I arrived home 2 1/2 hours late....
________________________________________________________
Here it is, four months later, still stinkin hot in Hong Kong, the indentation has almost grown back to normal and I'm now a daily user of egozite
Thank you Egozite....
Our story begins in Hong Kong, around May. Hong Kong has an awful humid summer, so hot in fact that were I to throw some stuffing and a life turkey down my pants, I could have it roasted by the time I walked to the train station.
As some of you might know, I'm a primary school English teacher at a school in Hong Kong.
The constant sweat and humidity had taken it's toll on poor ol' Captainbubby. So much so that he was developing nappy rash and that so much skin had been rubbed off between his thighs that there was actually and indentation in his leg and incredible pain.
In fact, I'm pretty sure I was down to my last layer of skin. It took several minutes for me to walk down the hallway to the office. My parents were visiting and waiting at my apartment; so more than ever, I wished to go home hastily, though I knew I could not survive the walk to the train station.
I decided to journey to the staff toilets where I thought I could wrap some toilet paper around my legs to stop the friction peeling away my skin as I walked. Alas, I soon found out that there was no way to secure the paper around my legs so I ended up having to make "toilet paper overalls" which would go over my shoulders and then down again. I finally made my toilet paper overalls and slowly put my shirt back on over them and waddled my way out of the staff toilets slowly, slowly, ever so slowly. I waved hello to a passing parent, trying to look as casual as possible and not scream in agony due to the pain. Suddenly, the shoulder strap of my toilet paper overalls broke, little bits of toilet paper streaming down my arm like a broken pinata. What didn't stream out of my shirt slowly fell down my back and accumulated into a rather embarrasing lump at the back of my pants.
I could see by the parent's eyes that they were curious as to what was going on... I suddenly decided to walk as normally as I could to the staff room, wincing as I could feel the skin from my thighs feeling off with each step.
Within, I managed dispose of the toilet paper, thus reducing the lump that had accumulated.
Next, came the epic hellish gauntlet...The stairs down to the ground floor.
Slowly but surely I made my way down the stairs, holding onto the railings like my life depended on it.
Once I reached the playground, I saw my friend Lui, one of the P.E. teachers. I confided in him and told him my problem. I've never seen someone have a look of pure amusement and pitty at the same time, as if someone had seen their parents shot in front of the TV during the funniest scene of the movie.
I suddenly saw the Coke Vending Machine.
"What If I stuck a cold coke can down my crotch in the area of friction!" I said.
He replied, shortly after breathing a few times to ensure that his lung did not collapse, "Good idea."
I slowly made my to the drinks machine and bought one cold can of, I believe lemon peach tea and hobbled into the PE storage room. "Well I might as well drink it first, I mused". I opened the can and drank the sweet nectar within. The sharp part where the tab was broken which worried me a little, but I was determined... With newfound hope, I put the can down my pants and marched out the door, a new man...
Unfortunatly I made two mistakes, one was emptying the contents of the can, making it hollow and the other, thinking that this would work.
I walked past yet another parent, this time I had no silly toilet paper lumps to worry about I thought as I waddled along.
Unfortunantly, the can, being hollow slowly began to crinkle and bend, a rather horrible sound. I've never had someone look so directly and intently at my crotch before, in what seemed like hours I slowly averted my gaze from the parent and turned it down towards my pants, something was definantly wrong...There was an un-natural cylindrical lump around my pants which was making metalic sounds whenever I would walk.
When you're a primary school teacher, it doesn't look good whenever genitals and foreign objects are involved.
I pretended to look through my bag, thus covering the noticable area and hobbled my way out.
The can wasn't working...I soon realised as I hobbled along the road. As I was slowly crossing the road, I saw a group of high school girls, the perfect "noise cover" with their loud talking and their giggles. The girls chatted and chatted and for once, I was glad for their noise, the crackling from the can was not at all noticable with their noise.
Suddenly one of the girls answered her mobile phone and walked to the corner of a nearby bus depot. The girls stopped and followed her too.
"Well dagnammit! I'm not losing my voice cover!" I pretended to fumble through my bag; thus, giving me an excuse to stop as well. No doubt a crush or a current boyfriend, the high school girl whispered shyly into her phone, her other friends blabbing along. My cantonese isn't perfect but I could tell that the conversation became strained...The girl on the phone started to tremble, I don't think her boyfriend was giving her good news. Her friends all stopped talking, looking worriedly at their obviously upset and currently speechless friend. At that exact moment of complete uncomfortable silence, my mobile phone rang, It was set to vibration ring, it wouldn't make a sound, just vibrate. Suddenly.. all heads were on me...the vibration of the phone in my pocket touched the can near my crutch, creating what can only be described as a jackhammer-esque vibrating sound, clearly coming from my crotch. Like Quasimodo, I hobbled off into the sunset, not turning back to explain, afterall, what could I say?
I quickly went into the nearby toilet area of the bus depot, answering the phone as soon as I could. As I reached down to take the phone from my pocket I felt a sharp pain. "Hello..." I whimpered....There was a hesitant "hello?" in reply. It was my father...from my whimpery hello, he probably mistook me for Michael Jackson. "When are you coming back? Connie (my wife) said you normally come home at 6:00! It's 6:30 now"
"Dad..." I said, "I think something terrible just happened.."
"What??" he replied worridly...
"I believe I've punctured my scrotum....."
_______________________________________________________
An old man looked on curiously as I fumbled around with my hands down my pants...
Truly regretting having drank the contents of the drink, I managed to untangle my scrotom from the sharp opening of the can.
The old man jumped as a metalic clang hit the floor. "I'm free!" I thought.
I hobbled out of the restroom and off into the sunset...
In what was supposed to be a one hour trip home, I arrived home 2 1/2 hours late....
________________________________________________________
Here it is, four months later, still stinkin hot in Hong Kong, the indentation has almost grown back to normal and I'm now a daily user of egozite
Thank you Egozite....
. Also explain why you had the same IP as BB 
