Is it All over? Has someOne lost it completely?

[FaeMinx]

Or perhaps everything is just beginning...
Perhaps the only way to win it All, is to lose it All?

Perhaps it's all just pointless?
So why am I making a point of this?

You decide what the point is, but it won't mean anything... it will only mean something... something you made up...
And who really cares about make-believe anyway?
Only those who like to delude themselves...

So in more mundane less meta language, I am creating this thread in order to link my activities here over the past few years (including my recent spout of deliberately estranging 'other' forum members) to any other places people may choose to read up on me. Because I know everything I post anywhere is being recorded. Why be secretive? I'm opening it up to anyone anywhere... because I Just Don't Care About Anyone or Anything!
So bring on the Chaos! It is our 'natural' state you pointless fools!

Serve Nothing, Be Nothing.

Or don't. It doesn't actually matter either which way.

So for further In-sanity:

https://faeminx.tumblr.com/

 

[levi]

Ta ta

 

[Djoga'Ro]

I guess your still working on detaching from expressing yourself.

 

[FaeMinx]

I guess your still working on detaching from expressing yourself.

When I get that one right, I realy won't exist anymore.
I know I don't, but still think I do... thinking is terribly distracting.

Maybe I really have to get one left... hmmm.

 

[Djoga'Ro]

It seems distraction annoys you, and that makes you wanting to reduce distraction. WANTING! Which again annoys you... Get a grip, or don't. Who cares!

 

[FaeMinx]

Holding onto things is counter-productive, so I really shouldn't get a grip... so therefor I can oscilate between ego and consciousness / existing and not existing / reason and insanity / fudge and buckets... I guess that's how atomic singularities actually work eh?

Sent from my GT-N5100 using Tapatalk

 

[Djoga'Ro]

So, you're striving towards something. What about that?

 

[FaeMinx]

I'm just a mirror of you pal. What's the problem?

Sent from my GT-N5100 using Tapatalk

 

[Djoga'Ro]

I just think you're tricking yourself, and am atempting to test that theory. You avoiding the test and getting defensive instead makes it look as if I'm onto something.

 

[FaeMinx]

A test?
You mean I have to come up with something to strive for because you challenge me? So, as we are one and the same... what is it I am striving for?

As for getting defensive... why are you even posting in this thread in the first place?


Edit: Oh yes, I almost forgot to ask... what are you onto then?

 

[Kiga]

Thanks for sharing, interesting point of view.
Some things made me wonder, for example
"I have managed to rewrite the genetic programming of this body/form to not respond to it’s instincts."
How did you know that your genetic program was changed?

 

[Djoga'Ro]

A test?
You mean I have to come up with something to strive for because you challenge me? So, as we are one and the same... what is it I am striving for?

You already came up with that:

... so therefor I can oscilate between ego and consciousness / existing and not existing / reason and insanity / fudge and buckets...

Well, at least I understand it as being your goal. ? That then implies alot of things you try to get rid off. So you've got me asking, how that fits.

As for getting defensive... why are you even posting in this thread in the first place?

The topic intrigues me, silly. (The topic does extend to your tumblr blog you linked to in the OP, doesn't it?)

Edit: Oh yes, I almost forgot to ask... what are you onto then?

See above.

 

[FaeMinx]

How did you know that your genetic program was changed?

Well, I can't 'prove it'... at least not with the technology available to this meat suit.

I work under the 'assumption' that genetics or cellular memory is something of a bio-feedback system with the animating consciousness...
That for instance, the 'issues' or unconscious behaviour of an individual is passed onto it's offspring at the time of conception... that we are automatically attracted to mirrors that appear to 'counter-balance' our issues with their own issues... which are the same issues but upside down and back to front....
... so the offspring has access to 'both sides of the story' so to speak, and has the opportunity to resolve those issues in it's lifetime... or at least until it generates further offspring... perhaps all iterations along a genetic line have the issue resolved simultaneously as 'one' of the iterations resolves it.

Anyways, all I really have to go on is that I have managed to explore aspects of unconsciousness in myself, resolve them, and nullify them... I.e. bring consciousness to them... or perhaps a deeper level of delusion.

I know that you can 'alter' yourself by being selective in what you feed.

 

[Neelix]

When I get that one right, I realy won't exist anymore.
I know I don't, but still think I do... thinking is terribly distracting.

Maybe I really have to get one left... hmmm.

... "I think not," said Descartes, and promptly disappeared.

 

[FaeMinx]

Well, at least I understand it as being your goal. ? That then implies alot of things you try to get rid off. So you've got me asking, how that fits.

Errr... My goal is to become more fully conscious, and more delusional at the same time?

I guess that about sums it up... remember, I can't be selective... so I have to be extremely selective... it's all so very difficult that it's a piece of cake!

The further I travel towards myself, the further away I get!

The only hope to any of this is that it's hopeless!

I love everything so completely that I hate every bit of it!

Why am i so misunderstood? Everyone knows me better than I know myself...

Look how fast I'm going.... I'm going so infinitely fast in all directions that it looks like I'm not moving at all!

*sob*... i need help... HOW DARE YOU COME NEAR ME! *muhahaha*

I warned you not to listen to me, so why don't you hear me already?

 

[Wrath Of Khan]

Are you taking mind altering substances? Sounds like you are thinking far too much- you won't find much that way.
Meditation and nothingness. Clear paths can form when you empty your mind.

I find that it's the heart that troubles one the most. Emotions are very strong and can sway us in all kinds of directions.

 

[Kiga]

Well, I can't 'prove it'... at least not with the technology available to this meat suit.

Why do you believe it then? You don't seems to have any visible clue including for you about your DNA being changed.
You said:
"Now, keeping in mind I am completely In-Sane, so I am totally within my rights to perceive reality in any way that works for me."
But can you affirm whithout lying that you perceived with your "In-Sane" mind that your DNA changed?
If no, I'd guess you believe it because it please you. I'd ask why someone who seek real reality are pleased by thought, written unreality?

 

[Djoga'Ro]

I'm just curious, what drives you to try to reach the state you described, and what you think of that drive/how you feel about it, since you - as I understand it - disapprove of wanting/longing/urges/desires etc.

 

[FaeMinx]

Are you taking mind altering substances? Sounds like you are thinking far too much- you won't find much that way.
Meditation and nothingness. Clear paths can form when you empty your mind.

I find that it's the heart that troubles one the most. Emotions are very strong and can sway us in all kinds of directions.

Not any more... been there done that.

I guess I should just name the silly issue for what it is:

A long time ago, I met what I percieved as a perfect being (not human, mouselike actually) that existed in a perfect universe... This caused me much pain because it threw my own existence into sharp contrast.
I was in pure emotional agony for weeks... until the being spoke to me with cryptic words that I didn't understand, but they soothed me and gave me purpose... I would dedicate everything I was to finding my way to this place and this being, wether such a being and place even existed was irrelevent... I would spend myself utterly on the task, regardless of if I achieved anything or not.

A year later I changed schools and there I met a drug addict who had asperations of being the antichrist... I didn't aprove of him (I didn't aprove of anything actually), but he was my access to mind altering substances which I explored due to my quest to find out more about this other universe...

It seems this fellow got it into his head that I was gay but in denial... or he had a crush on me... or he just thought I would be the perfect chump to use in his master plan to take control of the universe...
... I didn't take him seriously. I honestly thought he would grow out of it... or at least die young. I didn't care. I only cared about my own personal quest.

I still only care about my own personal quest (I am actually making progress believe it or not)... and he still only cares about his master plan, which for some idiotic reason *has to* involve me as the 'gay messiah'... even though I have told him to eff off in so many ways and so many times I've stopped counting. I wish he would just cease to exist because I really am not interested... and he certainly is not welcome in the universe I am trying to get to... I can't even be there myself because I am too human and too full of shit...

He is like an annoying mosquito that drives you demented when you are trying to meditate on detachment.

I admit that my 'live and let live' attitude evaporates when a mosquito comes near me... I go into 'kill mode'...

A large part of what I am doing is dragging whatever name I may have to others through the mud... so that any claim that I am Jesus, or gay Jesus is regarded as rediculous and as absurd as it actually is.

Therein lies the issue... he needs me... I don't need him or any of you... I'm just trying to get out of this place... STOP TOUCHING ME!!!!

I WILL CRUSH YOU LIKE THE BUG YOU ARE!!!!

*ahem*
Ohmmmmmmmmmm....

 

[FaeMinx]

Why do you believe it then? You don't seems to have any visible clue including for you about your DNA being changed.
You said:
"Now, keeping in mind I am completely In-Sane, so I am totally within my rights to perceive reality in any way that works for me."
But can you affirm whithout lying that you perceived with your "In-Sane" mind that your DNA changed?
If no, I'd guess you believe it because it please you. I'd ask why someone who seek real reality are pleased by thought, written unreality?

I'm just curious, what drives you to try to reach the state you described, and what you think of that drive/how you feel about it, since you - as I understand it - disapprove of wanting/longing/urges/desires etc.

See my previous post.

I do have an agenda... but it's got nothing to do with this universe or anything in... but the catch is I have to transcend myself and this universe before I can even begin...

except that I have *ahem* uncovered that I have already achieved what I am still trying to achieve.... so it doesn't matter what happens or doesn't happen... but I still have to walk my path... I essentially have no choice, no matter what I choose. This is awesomness... I also know the fate of dear mr poopy head the wannabe antichrist... he also has no choice, no matter what he chooses... it all gets so wierd when you are in the process of being sucked into a singularity...