How to increase the Pandoras number of sales

[Zip]

Its simple!!


just Put an apple in back of devices,


call it something that starts whit " i " like iPlay, iJoistiq, iGamepad, iConsole iSomethingelse


and now you can sell your pandora at 799$


The OpenPandora community Presents


The iPlay!

the iPlay suggestions from users:

make the audio jack some non-compatible proprietary one, get rid of the SD cards and replace them with a fixed internal storage (you can choose between the 16GB iPlay, 32GB iPlay and 64GB iPlay), and remove most of the keyboard because that can obviously only be used for ILLEGAL TAMPERING with the device's operating system, iSuper iZaxxon. Oh and those USB connectors need to go too, you should buy a $50 proprietary adaptor if you want USB.

edit1:


Opensource OS?


WTF!!


let put a damn proprietary OS that does not allow any customization of the background or even the menu


We oblige our users jailbrakare the device, which user like a device already open?


common usb ext? WTF!


we make an output triangular-form proprietary!


let seeee how may people will buy!


edit2


what iPlay Offer

The case and screen are redesigned to collect and retain greasy fingerprints more easily, to make it easier to identify which iPlay device belongs to you.


The iPlay iRepo also needs to make having an account linked to a credit card mandatory, and it needs about 5000 more flashlight apps and TD games, all of which should be at least as crappy as mine, and their prices should vary between $0 (for the really crappy ones that include many annoying ads) and $9.99 (for the super HD ad-free pro de luxe versions with flashlights in up to 8 different colors and 384567 special effects).


There should also be no spare batteries that you can install yourself - the horror! you might electrocute yourself! Instead, you have to go to an official iPlay repair store, where you can get a new iBattery installed by an approved iPlay Genius for only $99.99 (plus shipping and tax).


Also, a camera should be added, and you need to sign a form that it's OK if the iPlay Geniuses occasionally spy on you through the camera to check you're not attempting to tamper with the device.

£55 iPandora cable, with a built-in filetype filtering processor, buy, download and install whitelisting for each kind of file you want to transfer at £10 a piece. Profit!


You pay £50 for the filtering chip, and at least another £150 for disabling it

it's pure Chinese tecnology!

Have the boards be populated by a slave labor factory in China but owned by a Taiwanese corporation .

our Patent:

• Utilisation of a multi-purpose electronic processing device to retrieve and display data from a self contained memory unit connected to the processing device
  
• A system whereby a current applied to a coil of wire creates a motor effect in relation to a magnet, causing rapid vibration of a flexible disk, resulting in audible vibrations, and this system's inverse
  
• Identifying a user by means of a unique sequence of characters or other unit of information stored securely on the computing device and supplied by each individual before use of said device
  
• Displaying information to the user by means of a matrix of cells with variable optical properties, and where pressure or variation in electrical or any other properties can be detected by a transparent layer associated with the optical matrix
  
• Transferring data between computing devices mean means of invisible electromagnetic radiation, which can be varied to suit requirements.
  
• Entering information or giving commands to a computer system by means of mechanical assemblies with variable resistance
  
• use of information technology to display interactive content for entertainment, commercial, productivity, or any other purposes, or non interactive display of the same.
  

 

[_wb_]

Yeah but first we need to make the audio jack some non-compatible proprietary one, get rid of the SD cards and replace them with a fixed internal storage (you can choose between the 16GB iPlay, 32GB iPlay and 64GB iPlay), and remove most of the keyboard because that can obviously only be used for ILLEGAL TAMPERING with the device's operating system, iSuper iZaxxon. Oh and those USB connectors need to go too, you should buy a $50 proprietary adaptor if you want USB.

 

[frostfall]

<troll>


You can have the best of linux!! Oh wait...with no root possibility, strict control when you try to access the repo and a mandatory sync that removes softwares from your iPandy if they are against the iRulez (the iRulez can be changed any time without advertising). Another good thing with the iPandy is the rectangle-patentTM that ensure you will have the only rectangular device in the world.


</troll>


(EDIT : Typo)

 

[Zip]

Yeah but first we need to make the audio jack some non-compatible proprietary one, get rid of the SD cards and replace them with a fixed internal storage (you can choose between the 16GB iPlay, 32GB iPlay and 64GB iPlay), and remove most of the keyboard because that can obviously only be used for ILLEGAL TAMPERING with the device's operating system, iSuper iZaxxon. Oh and those USB connectors need to go too, you should buy a $50 proprietary adaptor if you want USB.

+1 added at 1st post

ah! the bluethoot only work with another iPlay!

 

[klapse]

well we do have a proprietary connector on the back for tv-out and line-in etc. It is so exclusive that even customers dont have the adaptor


Personally id like to see an advertisement in iX - germany's magazine for IT professionals. Lots of potential customers with linux-fu read it.

 

[mcobit]

Yes, this magazine would be a good advertising platform. The Pandora was featured in the Ct, the sistermagazine of iX, some time ago.

 

[skeezix]

I approve of this thread

 

[Zip]

first post update

 

[Binky]

Take out patents on:

• Utilisation of a multi-purpose electronic processing device to retrieve and display data from a self contained memory unit connected to the processing device
  
• A system whereby a current applied to a coil of wire creates a motor effect in relation to a magnet, causing rapid vibration of a flexible disk, resulting in audible vibrations, and this system's inverse
  
• Identifying a user by means of a unique sequence of characters or other unit of information stored securely on the computing device and supplied by each individual before use of said device
  
• Displaying information to the user by means of a matrix of cells with variable optical properties, and where pressure or variation in electrical or any other properties can be detected by a transparent layer associated with the optical matrix
  
• Transferring data between computing devices mean means of invisible electromagnetic radiation, which can be varied to suit requirements.
  
• Entering information or giving commands to a computer system by means of mechanical assemblies with variable resistance
  
• use of information technology to display interactive content for entertainment, commercial, productivity, or any other purposes, or non interactive display of the same.
  

Then sue the *&£% out of anyone selling hard-disks, SD cards, SOCs, speakers headphones, microphones, things with passwords or codes, touchscreens, wifi, 3G, 2G Bluetooth, keyboards buttons, computers


then Pandora will have a monopoly!

 

[Wrath Of Khan]

Steve jobs new bioghraphy ' I- Wanker'

 

[_wb_]

The case and screen also need to be redesigned to collect and retain greasy fingerprints more easily, to make it easier to identify which iPlay device belongs to you.


The iPlay iRepo also needs to make having an account linked to a credit card mandatory, and it needs about 5000 more flashlight apps and TD games, all of which should be at least as crappy as mine, and their prices should vary between $0 (for the really crappy ones that include many annoying ads) and $9.99 (for the super HD ad-free pro de luxe versions with flashlights in up to 8 different colors and 384567 special effects).


There should also be no spare batteries that you can install yourself - the horror! you might electrocute yourself! Instead, you have to go to an official iPlay repair store, where you can get a new iBattery installed by an approved iPlay Genius for only $99.99 (plus shipping and tax).


Also, a camera should be added, and you need to sign a form that it's OK if the iPlay Geniuses occasionally spy on you through the camera to check you're not attempting to tamper with the device.

 

[Binky]

Buy a £55 iPandora cable, with a built-in filetype filtering processor, buy, download and install whitelisting for each kind of file you want to transfer at £10 a piece. Profit!


You pay £50 for the filtering chip, and at least another £150 for disabling it

 

[SoulFire9001]

You could also put an orange on the back of the device, start its name with 'o' and be a rival to Apple themselves. Do exactly what they do, but in a different way.

 

[2bit]

<trollolloling>


Have the boards be populated by a slave labor factory in China but owned by a Taiwanese corporation .


<trollolloling>

 

[_wb_]

You could also put an orange on the back of the device, start its name with 'o' and be a rival to Apple themselves. Do exactly what they do, but in a different way.

That name is already taken:


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orange_%28telecommunications%29


But maybe we can use a pear, that would make the logo more unique, and we can call it the pPlay.

 

[Zip]

first post update i love that topic


pl0x moar

 

[Zip]

exlusive, there ise some rumors of iPlay 2!


it is pratically the same but:


it had 16 microphones


display 1 mm bigger


new un-retrocompatible ext, (now you can trash your old accessory)


only 900$


..Keep The newest tecnology..

 

[PokeParadox]

I know how to increase sales... just buy more Pandoras... :rolleyes:

 

[kirkanoss]

i would really love to see someone on a space mission using the pandora or in a bond movie that would boost sales

 

[Binky]

I know how to increase sales... just buy more Pandoras... :rolleyes:

Step 1: Sell house. If you don't own one, find relative who does


Step 2: Place a huge order for Pandoras


Step 3:


Step 4: OP makes a profit!