Have You Been Abused Or Bullied On The Internet

[quote]

Only by PoisonedV.

Lol, didn't dcgm tease you a few times?

What a tease.

 

[(naw)mcx]

Only by PoisonedV.

Lol, didn't dcgm tease you a few times?

What a tease.

Oh, yeah! DCGM and Rico, I think. Or Peter R. One of them.

I forget.

Most people at the forum have taken a dig at me in some way, if we're honest.

edit: Username was a notable twat, too, don't want his efforts to go with out credit.

 

[Tom`]

I think what it really boils down to is not an inherent inability to communicate but a lack of accountability and fear of consequence. Basically, people can say what they want to others because the other person won't be able to easily threaten physical harm or some kind of social retribution. And in a way, removing this fear of consequence paints a more honest picture of who you're talking to, if an often far less favorable one. It's probably better to know that people are treating others based on their more direct principles of how they feel others should be treated, but the end result is definitely much less pleasant.

More concisely, http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2004/03/19/ ?

But how often do you really spend time around "random strangers" on the internet? Usually you spend time in communities you feel you're a part of. If people there are giving you a hard time then it'll probably be a recurring thing you have to keep putting up with. If you don't care either way then that's fine, but it's not wrong to be bothered by being mistreated and to insist others treat you better. If you let people treat you badly then it's probably just going to get worse. Of course, if you react poorly it'll probably get worse too.

People don't generally stumble upon internet communities randomly with no intention of staying. There's more to interpersonal relationships than "friend" or "stranger." Sometimes you have to learn to best interact within a group of people who are going to be around but aren't necessarily all going to be people you'll like. Maybe it's hard for people to do this on the internet because this is not a skill that needs to be strongly carried into adulthood. People generally pick their own small groups based on others they like and aren't part of large groups that are purely social in nature. Sure, they have to get along with others in official contexts like work, but there's a greater motivation behind it that makes it easier for everyone to detach themselves and behave professionally. Being a part of an online community means interacting with potentially hundreds or more people. Despite this, sometimes a core group encounters others they don't like, and try to force them out. Internet trolling can be a manifestation of this.

I've compared it to a schoolyard before (and that's probably why the term "bullying" was used). You're not going to be friends with everyone at school - most will probably not even be friends with most - but you're still forced to interact with each other and by and large not towards accomplishing a common goal (yes, you're all there to learn, but you don't really help each other learn). These people aren't strangers, they aren't friends, but you're forced to at least be around them, and those who aren't happy with others who disrupt the perceived status quo - either intentionally or not - may try to alienate or oppress those people.

While this is true, on the Internet one tends to have more options in terms of interactions - at school or at work, if there's someone you don't like, whether or not bullying behavior is involved, you are, to a great extent, stuck with those people - you can try to avoid them, but chances are you'll be forced to interact with them on a somewhat regular basis. On the Internet, though, you aren't forced to engage with anyone you don't want to - in fact, a lot of online communication systems (whether it's IRC, forums, whatever) facilitate this: they actively give you "ignore" functions that ensure that you don't even have to "listen" to the person in question.

Personally, while there are a lot of people I don't like online, I keep a low enough profile that I don't seem to be noticed much at all. Security through obscurity, you could say.

Of course, all this works in the other direction too. There are lots of people I really admire, that don't even know I exist (Exophase :wub: ). I don't know whether that's a good thing or not. :mellow:

 

[Nintendo]

I've got nothing but love for you, Tom` B) :wub:

 

[Username]

Username was a notable twat, too, don't want his efforts to go with out credit.

Yeah, that guy's an asshole, he jacked my car stereo and didn't even leave a note apologizing for it. What did he do to you?

 

[(naw)mcx]

Username was a notable twat, too, don't want his efforts to go with out credit.

Yeah, that guy's an asshole, he jacked my car stereo and didn't even leave a note apologizing for it. What did he do to you?

He called me names and insulted my music taste

 

[Username]

Username was a notable twat, too, don't want his efforts to go with out credit.

Yeah, that guy's an asshole, he jacked my car stereo and didn't even leave a note apologizing for it. What did he do to you?

He called me names and insulted my music taste

To be fair, you may or may not have looked like a dyke, and your last.fm account may or may not have been a "shit", as he put it. But I wouldn't know.

 

[DisgruntleElf]

Sadly no one has heard or saw of these "online" people again.

I don't know if you're trying to make a point or be funny or what you're trying to say at all really...

Friends are friends, and sometimes they stop being friends. When you're used to talking to that person online or on the phone it's easier to maintain communication because it's not dependent on maintaining physical proximity.

Actually it was a poor attempt at humor. I was suggesting that you were an on-line stalker/killer luring poor unsuspecting friendless on-line souls to their certain doom. But I see that it was in bad taste as you take friendship very seriously and if the joke has to be explained it just sucks.

 

[danielliu88888]

only once when i was 12, when i didn't know how to respond to trolls



just don't take the internet too seriously

 

[lulzfish]

Sadly no one has heard or saw of these "online" people again.

I don't know if you're trying to make a point or be funny or what you're trying to say at all really...

Friends are friends, and sometimes they stop being friends. When you're used to talking to that person online or on the phone it's easier to maintain communication because it's not dependent on maintaining physical proximity.

Actually it was a poor attempt at humor. I was suggesting that you were an on-line stalker/killer luring poor unsuspecting friendless on-line souls to their certain doom. But I see that it was in bad taste as you take friendship very seriously and if the joke has to be explained it just sucks.

Oh, I thought the joke was that he was hallucinating all his Internet friends because he was a loner whose passing shall not be mourned.
But your joke was a lot better because it didn't imply he has a pathetic social life, just that he's a crazed killer.

 

[Nova]

Back in 2003 on these boards, I was 13, and got pushed around a bit by Klown and Bringoutthegimp. In the end I learned to ignore it and look, I'm still here and they aren't/

 

[Jourdy288]

I've been made fun of on account of my ethnicity and my taste in classical music on Youtube.
Here, well... I'm not going there :lol:

 

[Username]

I've been made fun of on account of my ethnicity and my taste in classical music on Youtube.
Here, well... I'm not going there :lol:

TELL ME WHO IS PICKING ON YOU SO I CAN GO BEAT THEM UP AND TELL THEIR PARENTS THAT THEY WERE HARASSING YOU. DOUBLE WHAM!

 

[danielliu88888]

I've been made fun of on account of my ethnicity and my taste in classical music on Youtube.
Here, well... I'm not going there :lol:

do you really think youtube comments have any merit whatsoever?

 

[Jourdy288]

I've been made fun of on account of my ethnicity and my taste in classical music on Youtube.
Here, well... I'm not going there :lol:

TELL ME WHO IS PICKING ON YOU SO I CAN GO BEAT THEM UP AND TELL THEIR PARENTS THAT THEY WERE HARASSING YOU. DOUBLE WHAM!

LOL, they were... taken care of

But seriously, I've discovered the best way to care for a situation like that is apathy.
The old W/E.

 

[lulzfish]

I've been made fun of on account of my ethnicity and my taste in classical music on Youtube.
Here, well... I'm not going there :lol:

TELL ME WHO IS PICKING ON YOU SO I CAN GO BEAT THEM UP AND TELL THEIR PARENTS THAT THEY WERE HARASSING YOU. DOUBLE WHAM!

LOL, they were... taken care of

But seriously, I've discovered the best way to care for a situation like that is apathy.
The old W/E.

They made a few upgrades to the old w/e:
http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Cool_story_bro

 

[Fishbong]

I find cyberbullying hilarious because it only works on spineless people who crave nothing more than the appreciation of others. For some reason, the victims cannot grasp that the cyberbully simply wants to get attention or satisfy some urge to make others feel bad, maybe out of frustration or simply boredom or sadism.
In any case not because he has an actual problem with the victim. So the victims of cyberbullying are more than anything victims of their own preoccupation with their popularity, which makes them blind to the fact that the bully/bullies are not to be taken serious. If you have self-esteem and individulity you don't give a shit.

 

[sam fisher]

Only by PoisonedV.

Lol, didn't dcgm tease you a few times?

What a tease.

Oh, yeah! DCGM and Rico, I think. Or Peter R. One of them.

I forget.

Most people at the forum have taken a dig at me in some way, if we're honest.

edit: Username was a notable twat, too, don't want his efforts to go with out credit.

I don't think it was me as I don't really remember doing so.

Back in 2003 on these boards, I was 13, and got pushed around a bit by Klown and Bringoutthegimp. In the end I learned to ignore it and look, I'm still here and they aren't/

The circle is complete *heavy Vader breathing*

 

[Exophase]

I find cyberbullying hilarious because it only works on spineless people who crave nothing more than the appreciation of others. For some reason, the victims cannot grasp that the cyberbully simply wants to get attention or satisfy some urge to make others feel bad, maybe out of frustration or simply boredom or sadism.
In any case not because he has an actual problem with the victim. So the victims of cyberbullying are more than anything victims of their own preoccupation with their popularity, which makes them blind to the fact that the bully/bullies are not to be taken serious. If you have self-esteem and individulity you don't give a shit.

Ah, the usual apologetic bullshit for assholes on the internet. So I guess when the "bullying" extends to sending families phone calls to torment them over their child committing suicide then they must be spineless for being upset over it. Trolling on the internet doesn't really know any limits. You can choose not to ACT in response something, but a choice not to feel bad about how someone treats you is by and large a myth. In my opinion, a lot of strategies to ignore negative feelings are actually unhealthy.

Regardless of what one tells themselves, people generally don't like being singled out and embarrassed, especially if it's in a group they'd like to be a meaningful contributor to. "Bullies" are not always isolated individuals but can be an entire mob herded against someone. You can call this meaningless attention to popularity, but the opposite extreme of being popular is being completely alone, and nobody wants that.

Thinking that people who intentionally seek to upset others don't have a problem with them is a broad assumption, and my personal experience suggests that these sort of people often actually actively hate their targets, or maybe hate everyone (sometimes themselves as well).

In my opinion, the blanket "internet is serious business lolz" response is a coping mechanism, and borders on delusional. Having self-esteem and "individuality" doesn't mean that suddenly nothing matters to you. What matters to a person, and therefore what should be taken seriously, is a subjective matter that's dictated by their circumstances, desires, and personality. For people who spend several hours a day worth of energy trying to upset others I would certainly expect that it matters to them on some personal level and that they're not acting completely arbitrarily. And to tell people the "right" way something should make them feel certainly doesn't seem to be promoting individuality to me.

At any rate, regardless of what you feel about the victims, I don't see how that excuses the behavior of the tormentor. Given that people are often more quick to insult the victim than help them I am lead to believe that they're really just defending bad behavior, ie painting a picture where the other person deserves it. I can only wonder why someone would do this - it could be that they themselves are pricks online, or maybe they want to show how secure and confident they are in comparison.

 

[WizardStan]

To be fair, you may or may not have looked like a dyke, and your last.fm account may or may not have been a "shit", as he put it. But I wouldn't know.

I used to work with dykes every summer when I'd visit my grandparents. They owned a farm, and making sure the dykes were working the way they were supposed to was always a challenge. Sometimes you have to beat them with a big stick, or run a tractor over the larger ones to get them in line. I disliked taking the shovel to them, made an awful mess, but sometimes you've gotta do what needs to be done.
But I am happy to report that in 20 years, not once has their field ever flooded.