Make a crackpot conspiracy theory


Blue Protoman

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Joined
Mar 6, 2010
Messages
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Simple. Make a conspiracy theory for anything. The theory has to at least pretend to try and make sense. I'll start;


The 3DS is going to be the end of the world.


How could something so cool be so deadly? Simple math. Note this date;


12/21/12


The last day on the Mayan calendar.


1+2=3


2+1=3


1+2=3


This calculation can be made three times. The "DS" arguably stands for "death to slugs" (with slugs, often seen as inferior, referring to the human race). We will soon suffer the wrath of God!
 
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Simple. Make a conspiracy theory for anything. The theory has to at least pretend to try and make sense. I'll start;


The 3DS is going to be the end of the world.


How could something so cool be so deadly? Simple math. Note this date;


12/21/12


1+2=3


2+1=3


1+2=3


This calculation can be made three times. The "DS" arguably stands for "death to slugs" (with slugs, often seen as inferior, referring to the human race).


12/21/12


whats that date?
 
The date that the Mayan calendar supposedly ends; to most people, this means "end of the world".
 
Clearly Protoman has just calculated the precise moment the forum becomes so overloaded with useless Blue Protoman threads that it causes a small rupture in the space-time continuum which eventually consumes the entire world with its endless fury.
 
Linux is actually owned by Steve Jobs, and he's planning on world domination.


But they are waiting for their newest product to release, Ibrain. Now you have everything inside your brain and when everyone has it.


He's simply going to use "The Sudo Command"!


Bam BAM Baaaaaaam!
 
Circuit Co is a wholly owned subsidiary of S**Y (name obscured for fear of assassination squads)


This explains why they have previously sabotaged the Open Pandora project, S**Y are terrified of any kind of freedom an open system might allow the end user


Remember no end user can be allowed to own their equipment - just lease it with the appearance of ownership...
 
There are no internal electronics inside a 3DS console. It's just an empty case with a 3D lenticular sticker for the screen. Subliminal messaging through Nintendo 3DS TV adverts will convince gamers that they are playing games in 3D. When you buy a game cartridge (which is also an empty case), the case is laced with microscopic hallucinogenic particles that cause the gamer to think they are playing the game. One known side effect of this can be motion sickness and can leave the gamer feeling dizzy so it's recommended to take a break every 30 mins.
 
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Craig is actually Clive Sinclair, whose mind has been copied over the original Craig's. The pandora contains a hidden code that activates once all of them are delivered that somehow uses rapidly changing images to transfer Clive's mind to all pandora owners. The master plan here is to get everyone thinking like Clive so we would finally understand and buy C5s.
 
Pierce Brosnan is really a martian! He was sent here to gather information about our planet to decide whether it's worth invading.
 
Eskimos doesn't really exist. Just think about it: men and women living on the north pole, eating the most dangerous mammal in the world. Living in houses made of snow? Get real. It is all made up by the American government in an attempt to stop people from going there since they're really hiding a nuclear powered alien spaceship made by the NSA to keep the oil prices so high.
 
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