Sorry Folks. It Had To Be Done.


Don't worry he's mentioned in a product advertisement in chapter 3.

EDIT: Please bare in mind that if I add characters I will need to find ways to kill off other characters or somehow remove them from the plot so that I don't get bogged down. This is hardly LOTR after all :) There are about 8 charcters by the end of chapter 2 plus honerable mentions of a few others before chapter 3 ends.
 
OK, you asked for it. So here it is. Chapter 2 This chapter contains expletives by the bucket load. You have been warned.

----------------------------------------------------

Meanwhile at C.O.D.E.R.S headquarters in WhatevernameImadeuplasttimesville.

"Bring, Bring"

"I say Skeezix old chap. You really must try some of these biscuits Reesy has discoverered." Said Craig.

"Bring, Bring"

"Are they nice?"

"Bring, Bring"

"Yes!"

"Bring, Bring"

"What kind of language is bring bring?" asked Skeezix munching on one of Reesys delightful discoveries.

"Bring, Bring"

"Dunno. You can have a biscuit too if you play your cards right though." said Reesy.

"Bring, Bring."

"Can someone answer that." said Craig. "I'm off for a dump."

"Answer what?" asked Skezix.

"The phone." said Craig.

"Oh is that what it is!" exclaimed Skeezix. "How quaint. A phone that sounds like a phone."

"Well I never." said Reesy.

"Bring, Bring" said the phone

"Biscuit anyone?" asked Reesy.

-----------------------------------------------


"There's no bugger there." said Mark putting down the phone.

"Shit!" said Toxibunny, Goity and Spam simul... simult...err... together.

"Yeah I think we should go before we set off." said Mark. I don't supose there are any toilets for miles.

"Eh!" asked Spam before relapsing into a semi conscious putt putt putt trance once more.

"Quick the bag." said Mark.

"Do you think it helps?" asked Toxibunny as he placed it over Spams head.

"Probably not but as long as he's semi conscious we don't have to look at his face."

"Poor Spam." said Goity.

The others eyed him suspiciously.

"I mean we'll have to leave him behind." said Goity. "He may never recover his GP32."

"You're right." said Mark. "We can't drag him along but who can we take instead."

There was a knock at the door.

Goity openend the door to a flood of expletives.

"Fuckerdy Fuckerdy Fuck. Shity Shit Shit Damn, Fuck Mr Fuckerdy Fuck Bluplus Fuckerdy." said Gimp.

"What's happened Gimp?" asked Mark.

"Fuckerdy Fuckerdy Fuck. Shity Shit Mr Fuckerdy Shit Bluplus Damn. Shitty Damn Fuckerdy Shit working Shit Fucker No More." replied Gimp.

"Damn." said Mark.

"Shit." said Toxibunny

"Fuck" said Goity.

"Too Fuckerdy Fuckerdy Shit right." said Gimp.

"We're off to see the Wizards." said Toxibunny.

"Eh!" said Gimp.

"The coding wizards." said Mark.

"Can I come too?" said Dorothy.

"Nah piss off." said Gimp who as you can tell from the 66% / 33% expletive to non expletive content of his last sentence had calmed down somewhat."This shitting well isn't the fucking wizard of fucking shitting Oz." he continued lowering the expletive content still further.

"Right let's go People." said Spam removing his bag.

"Thank fuck I haven't eaten any fucking thing for a while." said Gimp his stomach reeling from the glance at the bagless Spam Fisher.

They shouldered their packs and headed out the door.

What do you mean ??? Packs ???

Didn't I mention their packs? I'm sure I did. Full of Food, Weapons, Spare batteries, Dogfood and anything else that could possibly crop up in this adventure.


--------------------------------------------------


Meanwhile back at C.O.D.E.R.S headquarters in WhatevernameImadeuplasttimesville.


"Phew... I wouldn't go in there for a while." said Craig emerging from the loo flapping Dons Offline homebrew reviews pdf print in front of his face "So who was it on the phone?"

"Dickheads rang off before I could answer it." said Reesy.

"Yeah he rushed to get to it too." said Skeezix.

"It was more than likely those bloody GBA fanboys again anyway." said Reesy.

"Do a 1471." said Craig.

"Eh!"

"Give it here." Craig snatched the phone and entered 1471.

"The caller witheld their number." said the phone.

"Definately Fanboys." said Craig. "Probably Zodiac though.

"How can you tell?" asked Skeezix.

"They knew how to withold their number." replied Craig.

"These biscuits are nice aren't they?" said Skeezix.

"Yes!" replied Craig and Reesy in unison.


--------------------------------------------------


"You make it up as you go along." said Goity.

"Fuck Yeah." said Gimp. "I didn't even have a fucking Pack a fucking minute ago and now I know the bleedin' plot and crap and shit."

"Look I'm not writing this bollocks." said Mark. "Blame Toad... He's the deranged fool at the keyboard.

"Fuck me yeah. It's fucking Toads fault. I'm gonna reply to this thread with no fucking swearwords at all. That'll show the tosser." said Gimp.

"Yeah but it does help to keep the plot moving along at a nice pace and allows Toad to get out of any cockups he posts as he hasn't got an editor." said Spam.

"Shut up Spam." said Toxibunny.

"Spam" said Mark.

"Yes Mark?"

"Bag" said Mark.

"Yes Mark." said Spam as he donned his bag.

"Mark" said Spam.

"Yes Spam?"

"Can I cut eyeholes in the bag please?"

"Will it shut you up?" asked Mark.

"Yes Mark."

"Ok then." replied Mark



Tune in next week for more epic adventures of the directionless kind.
 
Bloody histerical, It had me in stitches and reminded me a lot, of thoughs text adventures on the spectrum, Like bulbo and the lizard king, colossal cave and so many others i can not for the life of me remember. I`m Happy :D

Trooper
 
Unofficial Chapter 2.5

Over at C.O.D.E.R.S again...

Everybody was still setting in their various implements of laziness.
They had decided to not do anything about the BLU+ issue.

Then, the phone rang again.
It was Blah, the person who had called before but didn't reveal their phone number.

Blah: "SPAM GAMEPARK, SPAM GAMEPARK. THEY HAVE TO SWITCH BACK OR
THEY WILL GO OUT OF BUSINESS, THANK YOU. BOYCOTT BLU+!"

(hangs up)

Spam and the rest come in...

Mark: "Look, they're not doing anything about it"

Spam: "WAKE UP CODERS!"

CODERS (in unison): "JUST SHUT UP"

Goity: "You really should shut up, Spam"

Spam: "Oh well. Hope BLU #82 doesn't die yet"

suddenly..."Gamepark Official Virus-Spam Fisher edition"
Spam: "NOOOOOOOOO!!!"

Too lazy to write anymore.
 
Unofficial Chapter 2.5

Over at C.O.D.E.R.S again...

Everybody was still setting in their various implements of laziness.
They had decided to not do anything about the BLU+ issue.

Then, the phone rang again.
It was Blah, the person who had called before but didn't reveal their phone number.

Blah: "SPAM GAMEPARK, SPAM GAMEPARK. THEY HAVE TO SWITCH BACK OR
THEY WILL GO OUT OF BUSINESS, THANK YOU. BOYCOTT BLU+!"

(hangs up)

Spam and the rest come in...

Mark: "Look, they're not doing anything about it"

Spam: "WAKE UP CODERS!"

CODERS (in unison): "JUST SHUT UP"

Goity: "You really should shut up, Spam"

Spam: "Oh well. Hope BLU #82 doesn't die yet"

suddenly..."Gamepark Official Virus-Spam Fisher edition"
Spam: "NOOOOOOOOO!!!"

Too lazy to write anymore.

no offence but.....
leave it 2 the professional nutjob :p
 
Last edited by a moderator:
And you're still alive in chapter 5 which I'm currently writing.

Mwahahahahaha. The creative juices are flowing now my little friends. Soon the whole internet will be throbbing to the pulse of my enourmous... Oh shit got a bit carried away there.

Sorry!

:blink:
 
ok... the title is just for example, but i thought i'd have some fun making a cover for the "book" :p
smallsamplecover7fr.jpg

i learned a bit about the history brush while experimenting with having dr. evil hold the GP32.

tell me what ya think! :) :) :)
 
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