Your Favorite Bash.org Quotes...

[generalnmx]

Mostly full of old jokes and "staged scenarios", some of them are pretty funny. Here's a good one:

http://www.bash.org/?23601

<Th3No0b> Im going to be the next hitler
<Th3No0b> Im going to kill all the jews and 1 clown
<RageAgainsttheAmish> why the clown
<Th3No0b> See? no one cares about the jews
<RageAgainsttheAmish> lmao

And this one...

http://www.bash.org/?171987

<mage> what should I give sister for unzipping?
<Kevyn> Um. Ten bucks?
<mage> no I mean like, WinZip?

 

[Rico]

(The whole fucking site.)

There, I have preempted all of you.

p.s. you got your URLs mixed up.

 

[finty]

I love bash...

 

[generalnmx]

Here's one for you Australians...

http://www.bash.org/?262417

<_kr4m3r> so many fucking criminals, its bullshit
<foniks`> heh, if we sent all the criminals to some empty continent and just left them there to die
<foniks`> and showed up like 50yrs later like, "sup?"
<foniks`> whatd u think they'd say?
<FoSZoR[bg]> something along the lines of, "G`Day mate"

And yeah, I know I got the links messed up, but I'm too lazy to change them

 

[thebluenewt]

http://www.bash.org/?12318

* @Lan plays with his privates.
<Rintaun> ...
<@Lan> I got these new toy soldiers
<@Lan> They are really neat

 

[LHC]

<Fenris> My mom found me perusing bash.org and looking up quotes about incest, and was like OMG!
<Fenris> Now she actually goes there regularly to make sure there aren't any new text words that have been searched for
<Fenris> I saw her looking at the site yesterday, and was like, "WTF??"
<Fenris> And she said she was just checking to see what kind of stuff I look at online.
<Fenris> I swear, someday I'm just going to rape that bitch.
<ctone> ...
<ctone> now theres a quote for bash.org
<Fenris> Don't you fucking dare.

http://www.bash.org/?185361


Most of the stuff on there is L337 TEH HAX0R LOLZ or just generally unfunny, but this made me chuckle.

 

[generalnmx]

http://www.bash.org/?36782

<James> I had an idea the other day.. Set up a website for all the people around the world who work in any form of customer reaching job. Everyone pays a membership fee each month, and this money goes into a pot. Then when a tech support person has a customer who really doesn't get it, they can use the money in the pot to hire a hitman.. It all goes around, so people will never have to deal with completely retarded customers again.

Problem with this idea - there's always someone smarter then you. So eventually all the Tech Support people would be dead, except for one guy/gal with all the brains This quote isn't necessarily funny, just wanted to point out the flaw.


Edit: Browsing bash.org a while...is it just me, or are there a LOT of incest jokes on it? Perhaps that's saying something about the bash.org community...

 

[Skop]

is bash.org a place to post amusing quotes that you come across on mIRC?

 

[Skop]

<BronsonTheBeef> So we were supposed to have a guest speaker in one of my classes
<BronsonTheBeef> to talk about diversity and racism and shit today
<BronsonTheBeef> prof's never met him..
<BronsonTheBeef> in walks this super black gangsta ghetto dude
<BronsonTheBeef> he's got a 'pimp' chain around his neck, wearing FUBU everything
<BronsonTheBeef> has a gold watch and a ring on each finger, smells like pot and beer
<BronsonTheBeef> he even had a do-rag on and a cigarrette tucked behind his ear
<BronsonTheBeef> walks in in true rapper style flashing his crazy ghetto signs at us
<BronsonTheBeef> the prof's like...'are you... jeff?'
<BronsonTheBeef> he goes 'true dat, ho' and says 'you all my niggaz!' and he turns in a circle
<BronsonTheBeef> waving his arms in the air singing about 'niggaz in 'da house' or some shit
<BronsonTheBeef> so she tells him to give his speech on diversity and shit
<BronsonTheBeef> and he starts talkin about 'the man' and how 'white folk be dissin'
<BronsonTheBeef> then like a minute later this other black dude runs in dressed in a suit
<BronsonTheBeef> and says 'sorry I'm late'
<BronsonTheBeef> it turns out the first black dude was just baked. he doesn't even go to college
<BronsonTheBeef> he just wanted to buy weed in the dorms

I cried with laughter.

 

[Dozer]

Yup, it is.

But I don't get a bunch of em at all. I can't be geeky enough :blink:.

Like this one:

#35339 +(68)- [X]

<kuruption> OMG I HATE LINUX USERS
<kuruption> this guys gave me a shell on his box
<kuruption> and vi is symlinked to pico!

 

[thebluenewt]

Yup, it is.

But I don't get a bunch of em at all. I can't be geeky enough :blink:.

Like this one:

#35339 +(68)- [X]

<kuruption> OMG I HATE LINUX USERS
<kuruption> this guys gave me a shell on his box
<kuruption> and vi is symlinked to pico!

​

I know pico is a unix text editor but apart from that :blink:

 

[Rico]

Pico is a friendly text editor the same as dos 'EDIT' or notepad. It's neat. vi is an abomination from hell, a text editor designed to enrage and confuse you, generally requiring some arcane commands to do pretty much everything. In short, classic UNIX.

This guy seems to want to use vi and the 'symlink' is like a shortcut - it points to pico instead. I do not see how this is funny. Would be funnier perhaps if pico got symlinked to vi so the poor newbie using an 'easy' text editor gets thrown into text editing hell. Perhaps that's the joke and I got the wording wrong.

 

[thecheat]

<@RuebiaYat> GoodScrat: has God spoken to you lately?
<@GoodScrat> I don't talk to myself

<daenonon^II> lol
<daenonon^II> i got pr0n downloading on limewire when this pop up ad comes up
<daenonon^II> about some kind of pyramid scam
<daenonon^II> and somehow the search results window of limewire didn't get covered by the testimonials of the pop up
<daenonon^II> "as a single mom, i like how hardcore fucking gets xtreme!!"

<@ryan> theres acpi crap in my kernel
<@jon^c> eat more fiber

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