Bzzgrl103: you're sexy!!!!
Clippa: you're not wrong there, goes without saying really but thanks anyway
Bzzgrl103: what bar do you work at?
Bzzgrl103: can i come see you?
Clippa: I don't work at a bar, I work in an abatoir
Clippa: you can come down anytime you like
Bzzgrl103: aba what?
Clippa: toir, it's where they smash the bastards out of sheep
Clippa: ready for dinner
Bzzgrl103: ooooo k.... I have no idea what you're talkin about...
Bzzgrl103: its already on the grill....
Clippa: the sheep?
Clippa: you grilling a sheep?
Bzzgrl103: sexy and funny tooo!
Bzzgrl103: no dinner is.....steak
Clippa: funny? I'm not funny, I thought you were grilling a sheep
Bzzgrl103: not sheep...steak
Clippa: we smash steaks too where I work
Clippa: have you ever seen a steak die?
Bzzgrl103: i feel like i'm in the middle of that joke
who's on first?
Bzzgrl103: never seen a steak die
Clippa: it's awfull, but you get used to it, they make an awfull screetching noise and flip on their backs
Bzzgrl103: eeeeewwwwww!
Clippa: I know, t bones are the worst because they're mostly bone and you have to smash them real good
Clippa: if you catch them wrong, they limp around for days
Bzzgrl103: ok now i'm really confused.....
Clippa: t bone steaks
Bzzgrl103: :-!
Clippa: you never had one of those?
Bzzgrl103: a t bone?
Clippa: yeah
Clippa: it's shaped like a t
Bzzgrl103: love em!!!
Bzzgrl103: like ribeyes better
Clippa: you wouldn't love em so much if you had to watch them die everyday
Bzzgrl103: I suppose not.
Bzzgrl103: you a vegetarian?
Clippa: I'm a vegatarian now since I started working there. Vegetables don't feel pain
Clippa: like fish
Clippa: how did you guess?
Bzzgrl103: how would you know?
Bzzgrl103: if fish can't feel...
Clippa: because kurt cobain said so
Bzzgrl103: well there you have it
Clippa: he said it in a song, paul mcartney was wrong
Clippa: I don't know what scientists say but there's some healthy debate going on amongst musicians
Bzzgrl103: I know there mouths move alot like they're in pain when you catch them and are ripping those hooks out of them.
Clippa: yeah, maybe they're just taking the piss
Bzzgrl103: gross
Clippa: I hate fish, I like to eat them. You ever been fishing?
Bzzgrl103: love fishing
Bzzgrl103: haven't been in a while though
Clippa: yeah me too, what do you use to catch them?
Bzzgrl103: depends what i'm fishing for....
Clippa: fish
Bzzgrl103: large mouth bass i like spinner bait and pork rinds
Bzzgrl103: and trout i like to use velveeta cheese or salmon eggs
Clippa: I like to use hypnotism and 70s funk
Bzzgrl103: never tried that one
Clippa: it sounds ludicrous but they jump out of that water like there's no tommorow
Bzzgrl103: maybe cuz they hate it????
Clippa: you use torches to catch their eyes then turn on the funk, it's something to do with the depth of bass in most 70s funk, not all of it works
Clippa: most early 70s funk is usless, they just hide under rocks
Bzzgrl103: that's one i've gotta see
Clippa: it's really started to take off round here, once word gets round, they're all trying it
Bzzgrl103: like i said...i've gotta see it to believe it
Clippa: the great thing is, is that dolphins are scared of 70s funk so it's good news for the fishing industry
Clippa: yeah, you do. It'll be on the news one day, they're still carrying out tests in the north atlantic
Bzzgrl103: it'll keep them out of those tuna nets i'm sure
Clippa: yeah, dolphins are great, I wish I could kill dolphins where I live, there aren't any for miles
Bzzgrl103: sexy, funny, and psycho......?
Bzzgrl103: i think i'm scared now
Bzzgrl103: ;-)
Clippa: why am I funny and psycho? I mean obviously I'm sexy
Clippa: don't you like killing things?
Bzzgrl103: hold on one sec
Clippa: I like to go up into the mountains and strangle deer
Bzzgrl103: all right. Im back
Clippa: hallelujah
Bzzgrl103: never killed anything but fish
Bzzgrl103: and they have no feelings so that doesn't count
Bzzgrl103: right?
Clippa: yeah, just like vegetables
Bzzgrl103: right
Clippa: my dad was a vegetable, made it a lot easier to kill him
Clippa: or a fish, I can't quite remember, he was in a wheelchair anyway
Bzzgrl103: oh how sad
Bzzgrl103: glad to see you're over it though
Clippa: yeah, it had to be done, he kept giving us funny looks and dribbling on the couch
Bzzgrl103: probably made a mess everywhere too huh?
Bzzgrl103: dribbling would've been the last straw for me as well.
Clippa: I'm sure it's the way he would have wanted to go, despite his moaning protests.
Bzzgrl103: did you make it quick and painless?
Clippa: yeah, we drown him in the paddling pool
Clippa: he mustn't have been a fish then
Bzzgrl103: remind me to never *#@% you off...
Clippa: I mean fish can breath underwater can't they?
Bzzgrl103: last I heard
Clippa: I don't remember paul mcartney singing about it
Bzzgrl103: Let me check with Curt
Bzzgrl103: He said he thinks so
Clippa: Didn't he shoot his jellies out?
Clippa: I think you're having me on
Bzzgrl103: Well, he started drooling everywhere so you know...
Bzzgrl103: on what?
Clippa: hold on, my dogs just died
Clippa: brb
Bzzgrl103: I'm holding my breath
Clippa: sorry about that, he's not dead after all, I'd just been holding his neck too tight, his colours coming back now
Bzzgrl103: hurry...give him mouth to mouth
Clippa: nah, he's fine now. Gave me a shock that, the hairy bastard was just lying there, I thought something was up when he stopped whimpering
Bzzgrl103: what kind of dog?
Clippa: one of those big hairy ones. Can you do ass to mouth on a dog?
Bzzgrl103: i don't know....try it
Clippa: I don't know, he's looking a bit frail. Do you think I should call the vet alan?
Clippa: it is his name afterall
Bzzgrl103: well, if its his name....
Clippa: maybe alan would know what to do
Bzzgrl103: maybe
Clippa: I wish I was called alan, that would be sweet
Bzzgrl103: what do they call you?
Clippa: alan
Clippa: but my names dave
Clippa: it's a long story
Bzzgrl103: very funny dave....
Bzzgrl103: tell me later
Clippa: no really, it was back in school, there was this kid who looked a bit like me but had a limp and all the kids would go "oh look, there's alan ... with the limp"
Clippa: god, I miss those days
Bzzgrl103: ahhh the memories
Clippa: eh, the mammories? haha, just my little joke there
Bzzgrl103: did i make a spelling error?
Clippa: anyway, they used to beat this kid up because he had a limp
Clippa: no you didn't
Bzzgrl103: I bet you were the first one to start swinging too.
Clippa: no, on the contrary, I'd go "hey, leave him alone, it's not his fault"
Bzzgrl103: I don't believe that for a second
Clippa: it's true, that's how I got the name alan
Bzzgrl103: you have ocean front property in arizona to sell me?
Clippa: eh?
Bzzgrl103: you always this serious?
Clippa: it started off as alan with the limp lover, then it became friend of alan, then alan friend and then just alan for short
Clippa: I'm serious, I get called alan, why is it so hard to believe
Bzzgrl103: because you said your name is dave
Clippa: yeah, but I get called alan
Bzzgrl103: ok....
Clippa: it's true!
Bzzgrl103: nice to meet you alan
Bzzgrl103: ;-)
Clippa: nice to meet you, what's your name?
Clippa: let me guess
Clippa: is it alan?
Bzzgrl103: go ahead....
Bzzgrl103: you'll never guess
Clippa: alan?
Bzzgrl103: try again
Clippa: dave?
Clippa: rumplestilskin?
Bzzgrl103: nope
Clippa: barry
Clippa: garry
Clippa: harry
Clippa: larry
Clippa: mo
Clippa: am I right yet?
Bzzgrl103: I'm a girl silly
Clippa: ah right, sorry
Bzzgrl103: with a girls name....
Clippa: alanis
Bzzgrl103: want a hint?
Clippa: davina
Clippa: rumpilstiltskinette
Clippa: go on then
Bzzgrl103: think kansas
Clippa: dorothy
Bzzgrl103: very good
Clippa: toto
Bzzgrl103: except its Dorthy
Clippa: oh my, without the o? my
Clippa: why do you miss the last o out?
Bzzgrl103: yeah, keep it simple right?
Clippa: what kind of a name is dorthy?
Bzzgrl103: I can thank my dad for having a little too much to drink the night I was born....spelled my name wrong...
Clippa: what a bastard, you should have him shot and change your name to dve by deed pole
Clippa: or ln, ln's a nice nme
Bzzgrl103: are you drinking?
Clippa: how's tot?
Bzzgrl103: he died
Clippa: no, I'm not, I'm sobre
Clippa: well, I injected myself with dog tranquilisers earlier but they're wearing off
Clippa: I missed the dog
Bzzgrl103: oh, that explains everything
Clippa: yeah, he must have had a panic attack or something, he's alright now
Clippa: I'll just leave his holes be for a couple of hours
Bzzgrl103: just put something on the carpet
Bzzgrl103: so you don't get a mess all over the floor
Clippa: no, it's not that. I don't mind the mess. In fact I revel in it, I revolve in it too, on my back. It's just he looks a bit tired and dizzy
Bzzgrl103: i guess i should ask what kind of dog are you?
Clippa: I'm not a dog, I thought you said I was sexy you pervert
Bzzgrl103: well you look sexy
Clippa: is that what you do? lure dogs into chat over the internet and have your wicked way with them?
Bzzgrl103: and i never said i was a pervert!!!!
Clippa: how can you see me?
Bzzgrl103: i have my ways....
Bzzgrl103: :-X
Clippa: you'd better not be hiding in my kitchen
Bzzgrl103: but what if i'm making something yummy?
Clippa: there's no food in the kitchen, we keep it out back in the grandmother
Clippa: she's not ours, she was there when we came
Bzzgrl103: oh a bonus!!!
Clippa: yeah, we were looking for a house with a grandmother. I mean we weren't fussy but like you say, it's a bonus
Clippa: you don't have to start digging your own up
Bzzgrl103: you are sooooo lucky
Bzzgrl103: i hope you know that
Clippa: don't you have a granny?
Bzzgrl103: yes i do...but she doesn't live here
Clippa: where did she die?
Bzzgrl103: I keep her locked in a closet at my other house
Clippa: ah right, is she living there or dead?
Bzzgrl103: if she stops cooking and cleaning when i let her out she's gonna have to go
Clippa: my granny died in the living room. Bloody rude if you ask me. Maybe she was trying to be ironic, she always was a bit pretensious
Bzzgrl103: was she blocking the tv too?
Clippa: na, we had the tv surgically implanted in her back, you have that problem too huh?
Bzzgrl103: yeah, thats why she stays in the closet
Clippa: If you're going to get it done, don't go for the cheap option, she came back a few times with radio stuck down her neck
Clippa: she had to do a crab to get radio 5
Bzzgrl103: nah, too much work....she's staying in the closet
Bzzgrl103: like i said...too much work
Clippa: yeah, just let her out now and again so she can take a gulp of air and a crossword magazine
Bzzgrl103: forget that....she's gotta cook and clean
Clippa: in the cupboard?
Bzzgrl103: didn't i say closet?
Clippa: aren't they the same? are you american? you disguist me
Clippa: stop being american!
Bzzgrl103: ok i will
Clippa: it's ok to hate americans, they don't have any feelings
Clippa: like fish and vegetables and linda mccartney
Bzzgrl103: is that so?
Clippa: yeah, we get a fair few coming in down at the abatoir, it's nasty work but someone has to do it
Bzzgrl103: ok. seriously, where is this place?
Clippa: I've never touched an american style hotdog since we got the first batch
Bzzgrl103: i'm afraid to ask
Clippa: I like in wales
Clippa: live sorry
Clippa: it's near whales most of the time
Clippa: it's an island just off the south west coast of the pacific ocean
Bzzgrl103: are you always like this?
Clippa: what do you mean? am I always so sexy?
Bzzgrl103: I said you look sexy....
Bzzgrl103: looking and being are two totally different things...
Clippa: yeah, it's true, I'm not sexy at all
Bzzgrl103: looking sexy is a start being sexy is a way to finish
Bzzgrl103: if you know what i mean
Clippa: you've never seen me, I'm blind, how did you get into my kitchen?
Bzzgrl103: i cheated
Bzzgrl103: saw you in aol connection
Bzzgrl103: :-D
Clippa: aol connection? what is that?
Bzzgrl103: ok you know what that is
Clippa: I don't. I've a feeling you've im'ed the wrong screen name
Clippa: is it a dating thing or something?
Bzzgrl103: i don't think so
Clippa: I'm not that lonely
Clippa: can you give me a link, maybe someone is taking the piss
Bzzgrl103: really?
Clippa: na, not really, I'm pretty lonely but I'd never stoop that low
Bzzgrl103: who is really that lonely?
Clippa: the bloke who put my screen name up I guess
Bzzgrl103: yeah maybe it was you're dad getting even
Clippa: do you have a link handy then? it might be someone I know taking the piss
Clippa: I've been getting instant messages off loads of people who I don't know lately, maybe that is where they are coming from
Clippa: dear me, you think he's cute?
Bzzgrl103: i do
Clippa: he looks like he's been burnt
Bzzgrl103: it really isn't you?
Clippa: christ, I'm getting another private message
Clippa: no, it's not
Sugarhyperkid345: hello
Sugarhyperkid345: hey
Clippa: hello, did you get my screen name off this aol connections gizmo?
Sugarhyperkid345: no
Sugarhyperkid345: who is this
Clippa: sorry, I don't know you
Sugarhyperkid345: no who am i talking 2?
Clippa: ratscocks
Sugarhyperkid345: DO U GO 2 DOVER
Clippa: nope, don't go to dover
Sugarhyperkid345: where do u go 2 school
Clippa: I don't, I'm 23
Sugarhyperkid345: sure
Clippa: yeah, I'm sure
Sugarhyperkid345: whats your name
Clippa: dave, alan for short
Clippa: no relation
Bzzgrl103: you're gonna get a lot morte
Bzzgrl103: more
Clippa: hehe, I suppose it is funny
Bzzgrl103: you would
Clippa: somebody must hate me or something
Bzzgrl103: what does clippa mean anyway?
Clippa: it's short for alan
edit: just wondering if swearing is allowed here? Tell me off and I'll delete it, sorry if it seems a bit prudish but I've had bad experience with admins with too much time on their hands
Clippa: you're not wrong there, goes without saying really but thanks anyway
Bzzgrl103: what bar do you work at?
Bzzgrl103: can i come see you?
Clippa: I don't work at a bar, I work in an abatoir
Clippa: you can come down anytime you like
Bzzgrl103: aba what?
Clippa: toir, it's where they smash the bastards out of sheep
Clippa: ready for dinner
Bzzgrl103: ooooo k.... I have no idea what you're talkin about...
Bzzgrl103: its already on the grill....
Clippa: the sheep?
Clippa: you grilling a sheep?
Bzzgrl103: sexy and funny tooo!
Bzzgrl103: no dinner is.....steak
Clippa: funny? I'm not funny, I thought you were grilling a sheep
Bzzgrl103: not sheep...steak
Clippa: we smash steaks too where I work
Clippa: have you ever seen a steak die?
Bzzgrl103: i feel like i'm in the middle of that joke
who's on first?
Bzzgrl103: never seen a steak die
Clippa: it's awfull, but you get used to it, they make an awfull screetching noise and flip on their backs
Bzzgrl103: eeeeewwwwww!
Clippa: I know, t bones are the worst because they're mostly bone and you have to smash them real good
Clippa: if you catch them wrong, they limp around for days
Bzzgrl103: ok now i'm really confused.....
Clippa: t bone steaks
Bzzgrl103: :-!
Clippa: you never had one of those?
Bzzgrl103: a t bone?
Clippa: yeah
Clippa: it's shaped like a t
Bzzgrl103: love em!!!
Bzzgrl103: like ribeyes better
Clippa: you wouldn't love em so much if you had to watch them die everyday
Bzzgrl103: I suppose not.
Bzzgrl103: you a vegetarian?
Clippa: I'm a vegatarian now since I started working there. Vegetables don't feel pain
Clippa: like fish
Clippa: how did you guess?
Bzzgrl103: how would you know?
Bzzgrl103: if fish can't feel...
Clippa: because kurt cobain said so
Bzzgrl103: well there you have it
Clippa: he said it in a song, paul mcartney was wrong
Clippa: I don't know what scientists say but there's some healthy debate going on amongst musicians
Bzzgrl103: I know there mouths move alot like they're in pain when you catch them and are ripping those hooks out of them.
Clippa: yeah, maybe they're just taking the piss
Bzzgrl103: gross
Clippa: I hate fish, I like to eat them. You ever been fishing?
Bzzgrl103: love fishing
Bzzgrl103: haven't been in a while though
Clippa: yeah me too, what do you use to catch them?
Bzzgrl103: depends what i'm fishing for....
Clippa: fish
Bzzgrl103: large mouth bass i like spinner bait and pork rinds
Bzzgrl103: and trout i like to use velveeta cheese or salmon eggs
Clippa: I like to use hypnotism and 70s funk
Bzzgrl103: never tried that one
Clippa: it sounds ludicrous but they jump out of that water like there's no tommorow
Bzzgrl103: maybe cuz they hate it????
Clippa: you use torches to catch their eyes then turn on the funk, it's something to do with the depth of bass in most 70s funk, not all of it works
Clippa: most early 70s funk is usless, they just hide under rocks
Bzzgrl103: that's one i've gotta see
Clippa: it's really started to take off round here, once word gets round, they're all trying it
Bzzgrl103: like i said...i've gotta see it to believe it
Clippa: the great thing is, is that dolphins are scared of 70s funk so it's good news for the fishing industry
Clippa: yeah, you do. It'll be on the news one day, they're still carrying out tests in the north atlantic
Bzzgrl103: it'll keep them out of those tuna nets i'm sure
Clippa: yeah, dolphins are great, I wish I could kill dolphins where I live, there aren't any for miles
Bzzgrl103: sexy, funny, and psycho......?
Bzzgrl103: i think i'm scared now
Bzzgrl103: ;-)
Clippa: why am I funny and psycho? I mean obviously I'm sexy
Clippa: don't you like killing things?
Bzzgrl103: hold on one sec
Clippa: I like to go up into the mountains and strangle deer
Bzzgrl103: all right. Im back
Clippa: hallelujah
Bzzgrl103: never killed anything but fish
Bzzgrl103: and they have no feelings so that doesn't count
Bzzgrl103: right?
Clippa: yeah, just like vegetables
Bzzgrl103: right
Clippa: my dad was a vegetable, made it a lot easier to kill him
Clippa: or a fish, I can't quite remember, he was in a wheelchair anyway
Bzzgrl103: oh how sad
Bzzgrl103: glad to see you're over it though
Clippa: yeah, it had to be done, he kept giving us funny looks and dribbling on the couch
Bzzgrl103: probably made a mess everywhere too huh?
Bzzgrl103: dribbling would've been the last straw for me as well.
Clippa: I'm sure it's the way he would have wanted to go, despite his moaning protests.
Bzzgrl103: did you make it quick and painless?
Clippa: yeah, we drown him in the paddling pool
Clippa: he mustn't have been a fish then
Bzzgrl103: remind me to never *#@% you off...
Clippa: I mean fish can breath underwater can't they?
Bzzgrl103: last I heard
Clippa: I don't remember paul mcartney singing about it
Bzzgrl103: Let me check with Curt
Bzzgrl103: He said he thinks so
Clippa: Didn't he shoot his jellies out?
Clippa: I think you're having me on
Bzzgrl103: Well, he started drooling everywhere so you know...
Bzzgrl103: on what?
Clippa: hold on, my dogs just died
Clippa: brb
Bzzgrl103: I'm holding my breath
Clippa: sorry about that, he's not dead after all, I'd just been holding his neck too tight, his colours coming back now
Bzzgrl103: hurry...give him mouth to mouth
Clippa: nah, he's fine now. Gave me a shock that, the hairy bastard was just lying there, I thought something was up when he stopped whimpering
Bzzgrl103: what kind of dog?
Clippa: one of those big hairy ones. Can you do ass to mouth on a dog?
Bzzgrl103: i don't know....try it
Clippa: I don't know, he's looking a bit frail. Do you think I should call the vet alan?
Clippa: it is his name afterall
Bzzgrl103: well, if its his name....
Clippa: maybe alan would know what to do
Bzzgrl103: maybe
Clippa: I wish I was called alan, that would be sweet
Bzzgrl103: what do they call you?
Clippa: alan
Clippa: but my names dave
Clippa: it's a long story
Bzzgrl103: very funny dave....
Bzzgrl103: tell me later
Clippa: no really, it was back in school, there was this kid who looked a bit like me but had a limp and all the kids would go "oh look, there's alan ... with the limp"
Clippa: god, I miss those days
Bzzgrl103: ahhh the memories
Clippa: eh, the mammories? haha, just my little joke there
Bzzgrl103: did i make a spelling error?
Clippa: anyway, they used to beat this kid up because he had a limp
Clippa: no you didn't
Bzzgrl103: I bet you were the first one to start swinging too.
Clippa: no, on the contrary, I'd go "hey, leave him alone, it's not his fault"
Bzzgrl103: I don't believe that for a second
Clippa: it's true, that's how I got the name alan
Bzzgrl103: you have ocean front property in arizona to sell me?
Clippa: eh?
Bzzgrl103: you always this serious?
Clippa: it started off as alan with the limp lover, then it became friend of alan, then alan friend and then just alan for short
Clippa: I'm serious, I get called alan, why is it so hard to believe
Bzzgrl103: because you said your name is dave
Clippa: yeah, but I get called alan
Bzzgrl103: ok....
Clippa: it's true!
Bzzgrl103: nice to meet you alan
Bzzgrl103: ;-)
Clippa: nice to meet you, what's your name?
Clippa: let me guess
Clippa: is it alan?
Bzzgrl103: go ahead....
Bzzgrl103: you'll never guess
Clippa: alan?
Bzzgrl103: try again
Clippa: dave?
Clippa: rumplestilskin?
Bzzgrl103: nope
Clippa: barry
Clippa: garry
Clippa: harry
Clippa: larry
Clippa: mo
Clippa: am I right yet?
Bzzgrl103: I'm a girl silly
Clippa: ah right, sorry
Bzzgrl103: with a girls name....
Clippa: alanis
Bzzgrl103: want a hint?
Clippa: davina
Clippa: rumpilstiltskinette
Clippa: go on then
Bzzgrl103: think kansas
Clippa: dorothy
Bzzgrl103: very good
Clippa: toto
Bzzgrl103: except its Dorthy
Clippa: oh my, without the o? my
Clippa: why do you miss the last o out?
Bzzgrl103: yeah, keep it simple right?
Clippa: what kind of a name is dorthy?
Bzzgrl103: I can thank my dad for having a little too much to drink the night I was born....spelled my name wrong...
Clippa: what a bastard, you should have him shot and change your name to dve by deed pole
Clippa: or ln, ln's a nice nme
Bzzgrl103: are you drinking?
Clippa: how's tot?
Bzzgrl103: he died
Clippa: no, I'm not, I'm sobre
Clippa: well, I injected myself with dog tranquilisers earlier but they're wearing off
Clippa: I missed the dog
Bzzgrl103: oh, that explains everything
Clippa: yeah, he must have had a panic attack or something, he's alright now
Clippa: I'll just leave his holes be for a couple of hours
Bzzgrl103: just put something on the carpet
Bzzgrl103: so you don't get a mess all over the floor
Clippa: no, it's not that. I don't mind the mess. In fact I revel in it, I revolve in it too, on my back. It's just he looks a bit tired and dizzy
Bzzgrl103: i guess i should ask what kind of dog are you?
Clippa: I'm not a dog, I thought you said I was sexy you pervert
Bzzgrl103: well you look sexy
Clippa: is that what you do? lure dogs into chat over the internet and have your wicked way with them?
Bzzgrl103: and i never said i was a pervert!!!!
Clippa: how can you see me?
Bzzgrl103: i have my ways....
Bzzgrl103: :-X
Clippa: you'd better not be hiding in my kitchen
Bzzgrl103: but what if i'm making something yummy?
Clippa: there's no food in the kitchen, we keep it out back in the grandmother
Clippa: she's not ours, she was there when we came
Bzzgrl103: oh a bonus!!!
Clippa: yeah, we were looking for a house with a grandmother. I mean we weren't fussy but like you say, it's a bonus
Clippa: you don't have to start digging your own up
Bzzgrl103: you are sooooo lucky
Bzzgrl103: i hope you know that
Clippa: don't you have a granny?
Bzzgrl103: yes i do...but she doesn't live here
Clippa: where did she die?
Bzzgrl103: I keep her locked in a closet at my other house
Clippa: ah right, is she living there or dead?
Bzzgrl103: if she stops cooking and cleaning when i let her out she's gonna have to go
Clippa: my granny died in the living room. Bloody rude if you ask me. Maybe she was trying to be ironic, she always was a bit pretensious
Bzzgrl103: was she blocking the tv too?
Clippa: na, we had the tv surgically implanted in her back, you have that problem too huh?
Bzzgrl103: yeah, thats why she stays in the closet
Clippa: If you're going to get it done, don't go for the cheap option, she came back a few times with radio stuck down her neck
Clippa: she had to do a crab to get radio 5
Bzzgrl103: nah, too much work....she's staying in the closet
Bzzgrl103: like i said...too much work
Clippa: yeah, just let her out now and again so she can take a gulp of air and a crossword magazine
Bzzgrl103: forget that....she's gotta cook and clean
Clippa: in the cupboard?
Bzzgrl103: didn't i say closet?
Clippa: aren't they the same? are you american? you disguist me
Clippa: stop being american!
Bzzgrl103: ok i will
Clippa: it's ok to hate americans, they don't have any feelings
Clippa: like fish and vegetables and linda mccartney
Bzzgrl103: is that so?
Clippa: yeah, we get a fair few coming in down at the abatoir, it's nasty work but someone has to do it
Bzzgrl103: ok. seriously, where is this place?
Clippa: I've never touched an american style hotdog since we got the first batch
Bzzgrl103: i'm afraid to ask
Clippa: I like in wales
Clippa: live sorry
Clippa: it's near whales most of the time
Clippa: it's an island just off the south west coast of the pacific ocean
Bzzgrl103: are you always like this?
Clippa: what do you mean? am I always so sexy?
Bzzgrl103: I said you look sexy....
Bzzgrl103: looking and being are two totally different things...
Clippa: yeah, it's true, I'm not sexy at all
Bzzgrl103: looking sexy is a start being sexy is a way to finish
Bzzgrl103: if you know what i mean
Clippa: you've never seen me, I'm blind, how did you get into my kitchen?
Bzzgrl103: i cheated
Bzzgrl103: saw you in aol connection
Bzzgrl103: :-D
Clippa: aol connection? what is that?
Bzzgrl103: ok you know what that is
Clippa: I don't. I've a feeling you've im'ed the wrong screen name
Clippa: is it a dating thing or something?
Bzzgrl103: i don't think so
Clippa: I'm not that lonely
Clippa: can you give me a link, maybe someone is taking the piss
Bzzgrl103: really?
Clippa: na, not really, I'm pretty lonely but I'd never stoop that low
Bzzgrl103: who is really that lonely?
Clippa: the bloke who put my screen name up I guess
Bzzgrl103: yeah maybe it was you're dad getting even
Clippa: do you have a link handy then? it might be someone I know taking the piss
Clippa: I've been getting instant messages off loads of people who I don't know lately, maybe that is where they are coming from
Clippa: dear me, you think he's cute?
Bzzgrl103: i do
Clippa: he looks like he's been burnt
Bzzgrl103: it really isn't you?
Clippa: christ, I'm getting another private message
Clippa: no, it's not
Sugarhyperkid345: hello
Sugarhyperkid345: hey
Clippa: hello, did you get my screen name off this aol connections gizmo?
Sugarhyperkid345: no
Sugarhyperkid345: who is this
Clippa: sorry, I don't know you
Sugarhyperkid345: no who am i talking 2?
Clippa: ratscocks
Sugarhyperkid345: DO U GO 2 DOVER
Clippa: nope, don't go to dover
Sugarhyperkid345: where do u go 2 school
Clippa: I don't, I'm 23
Sugarhyperkid345: sure
Clippa: yeah, I'm sure
Sugarhyperkid345: whats your name
Clippa: dave, alan for short
Clippa: no relation
Bzzgrl103: you're gonna get a lot morte
Bzzgrl103: more
Clippa: hehe, I suppose it is funny
Bzzgrl103: you would
Clippa: somebody must hate me or something
Bzzgrl103: what does clippa mean anyway?
Clippa: it's short for alan
edit: just wondering if swearing is allowed here? Tell me off and I'll delete it, sorry if it seems a bit prudish but I've had bad experience with admins with too much time on their hands
