Opening the Box

[Blue Protoman]

Ten minutes after the trio board the mothership, they meet Fatih Kilic, who had planned in advance. Turns out, he was the one who resurrected Craig and ED. All four of them decide to kick back and watch television while their minions prepare. A breaking news report comes on; the United States has declared war on the Pacific Ocean.

 

[DaMummy]

only to realize that the pacific ocean has evaporated! somehow exposing the lost city of Atlantis strangely enough. after the USA further investigate the lost city, they find...

 

[lulzfish]

that one really cool toy from their childhood, you know the one that's gotta be around somewhere, but you can never remember where, and your house is a fucking mess because

 

[Blue Protoman]

...Craig didn't come clean it. Now, back to our heroes. Craig says,

 

[moz]

¨I like pie!¨ Then proceeded to eat pie. Meanwhile ED was eating...

 

[Blue Protoman]

...nothing, for he wasn't hungry. One of the minions walks up to Fatih and says, "The ships are ready to invade, sir. I see you've brought your friends as well. I am under all of your commands, as is the rest of the Pandora fleet."

 

[matzesu]

but the Pandora fleet was being atacket by an giant squid flying an tornado fight jet...

 

[Blue Protoman]

To counter this, Craig ordered a vodka bomb to be dropped on the squid. Before it was launched, he "sampled" some of it.

 

[lulzfish]

To produce antialiased vodka, which is smoother than traditional vodka.

 

[Blue Protoman]

blender. Unfortunately, as they turned on the blender, our heroes realized that they forgot to put on the lid! The room became a mess.

 

[Austin25]

However, Craig takes a liking to the new atmosphere, with the black color and that you can get drunk just by breathing the air in the room. He argues to Evildragon...

 

[Blue Protoman]

"I rather like this decor, I think we can really make it work."


Their argument is interrupted by a minion.


"The vodka bomb was a success! The squid's been killed. Now we just have to deal with the Russians."

 

[Wrath Of Khan]

Ed,craig fatih and m,weston beam down from the mothership into a secret underground complex


in siberia and....

 

[Austin25]

Are captured by Russian terrorists! Fortunately, the two of them learned a thing or two from the First Person shooter games of their youth...

 

[Blue Protoman]

The two were Craig and Weston. Unfortunately, neither of them had James Bond syndrome*, so they (along with Fatih and ED) could only carry one weapon.


ED, however, happened to be wearing a magnetic watch.


*James Bond Syndrome is when your character can carry unlimited weapons in a first-person shooter. The term originated from GoldenEye 007, though it appears in other games such as Doom and Half-Life.

 

[DavidBowman]

The magnetic field from the watch erased the terrorists' credit cards, forcing them to let Craig and Weston go while they took a trip to the local branch of their bank to get them replaced.


Meanwhile, at Game Park Holding's HQ, the executives get wind of the Pandora. "We must put stop to this project," said the CEO in perfect Korean - Korean being his second language oddly enough. "Initiate plan Global Banking Meltdown..."

 

[Austin25]

Meanwhile, the OPT were kicking butt and taking names, Craig and Weston FPS style, Evildragon and Faith kicked but platformer style: jumping on everyone . After taking out every threat in the base, they discovered the terrorists were controlled by Game Park Holdings, and that they were planning on stealing the entire developer pool of open source embedded programmers. With this knowledge, they knew there was only one thing to do.

 

[Blue Protoman]

Call Bill Nye the Science Guy!

 

[DavidBowman]

Unfortunately, Bill was drunk. So instead they called...

 

[Blue Protoman]

all of their mothers.