Opening the Box

[Blue Protoman]

The game is very simple. I start a story, and you continue it. You are limited to a maximum of five sentences per post. Do not copy/paste sentences from previous posts, after a while it will look obnoxious. If you want, you can finish mid-sentence for someone else to pick up.


And if you're ninja'd, you MUST delete what you wrote to avoid confusion. First come, first serve.


The game begins now.


One day, an English man by the name of Craig Rothwell, feeling unsatisfied with his GP2X F100 and its flaws, suddenly struck inspiration. He would create his own open console. It would improve upon the GP2X (and the GP32) in every way. He knew that it would require a great deal of work, though if done correctly, he would become world-renowned for his efforts. He would name this device...

 

[darfgarf]

the ultra mega super handheld of doom, and include a free bottle of vodka, and a silly hat with every purchase...

 

[Blue Protoman]

Craig knew exactly who to call on for help with this project.

 

[Austin25]

He knew the first person he could turn to was his friend, who often looked as if he was in a band. This man's name was Michael Mrozek, but most people called him Evildragon.

 

[lulzfish]

Craig approached EvilDragon after he (ED) returned from touring Europe, pretending to be in a rock band.

 

[DaMummy]

then craig ate his socks and evildragon ate his underwear?

 

[- Theo -]

...so they both became sick, and eventually died from it. That's why the ultra mega super handheld of doom never became reality.


But, hidden in their space ship, some aliens were secretly observing the scene and decided to take on the appearance of the two dead men and hide their bodies. Then they settled to build another game device, even better than the original attempt, with a secret goal (that would be revealed later). This new device would be called...

 

[Stradian]

... the Closedpandora! A device Craig and Evil Dragon can control the influx of free programs and games, All for the sake of security and DRM. After all, They both knew that their target audience were...

 

[Blue Protoman]

...French ninjas!

 

[lulzfish]

After years of evolution, Parkour practitioners and iPhone users mysteriously transformed into French DRM ninjas, and after Apple left the phone market in 2012, citing "We already have way too much money", there was a gap in the French ninja mobile device market.

 

[Blue Protoman]

Meanwhile, in a box in Cleveland, the real Craig and EvilDragon have resurrected, and are now healthier than ever. They have somehow caught wind of the aliens taking their forms. They exit the box and walk up to a pair of pay phones. Craig decides to call...

 

[DaMummy]

Bill Gates for advice on how to make a product.

 

[Blue Protoman]

This call doesn't end well.

 

[lulzfish]

Because it turns out Craig thought Bill Gates and Billy Mays were the same person.

 

[Blue Protoman]

Meanwhile, in the other pay phone, EvilDragon is calling...

 

[DaMummy]

Bob Barker for a commercial ED plans on doing

 

[Blue Protoman]

But he's dead. So instead, ED calls his mother.

 

[Wrath Of Khan]

And rings the year 2020 where michael weston answers the phone.Together Craig evildragon and m.weston hurtle through time..... :blink:

 

[Stradian]

"Hallo Mutter!" ED said like a Muttie's Jughern. "I need to have a commercial made!"


He receives the reply "Was?! I made you leave 2 months tm ago! Leave me alone until you have given me grandchildren!" ED bites his lip and wonders what the hell made him call his mother. It turns out...


Dang it, ninja'd.


Where the Pandora had bankrupted Sony's and Nintendo's handheld business. Steve jobs died to a mysterious illness and the apple fad products had faded. Allowing ED and craig the supreme power of...

 

[Wrath Of Khan]

the universe which they use to create opensource motherships to conquer fledgling alien civilisations.....