Good games that are actually rubbish.

[mahousaru]

Zoids... My imagination was much better then the game!

 

[second exodous]

When you consider the impact and success of VII, you can't help but wonder where they went wrong after that. Final Fantasy can now guarantee these things in every new version:
- Sparkly crystals


- Feminine male characters


- Convoluted nonsensical story which appears to have been devised by putting the script on a conveyor belt and having 1000 people write a single sentence each as it passes by.


- Flashy, over-long attack sequences


- Endless political background to wade through, with impossible to remember provinces, royal families, and generals


- A revised battle and levelling system that is always completely different, and worse than the last.

This is why I can't play any FF game after 3(6) or any of the remixes. I know they are Japanese games and Japanese animation is the same same way and not to be racist but yeah, Japanese men are kinda small in real life. But. . . it is not just that they are feminine but they are often more feminine looking than the female characters and not just that without breasts they look like 11 or 12 year old girls. Then when the lead male characters have any love interest it makes me think of old lesbians hunting for pre-teen girls. I don't know, it is just weird.


For this reason I have started later FF games but have never gotten far, it is just weird.

 

[DavidBowman]

Not ALL anime is that way, though I will admit that I'm not a huge fan of it and haven't had that much exposure to it. Cowboy Bebop is pretty awesome though, with very strong male characters even though there is some love interest in the background.


I'm in my late 20's now, so I have too much real-life stuff going on to be able to sit and enjoy super-long games these days (unless I want to sacrifice doing other things, like posting on and reading this forum!).


This is probably why I like emulation so much: I can replay those games that I played when I was a kid and also those same games were much more action-oriented than the cutscene-heavy and dialogue-laden games of today's market. Not to say that those games aren't good, but they just don't appeal to me any longer.


I've become my father in a way I suppose, ha ha. At least I finally understand him better now!

 

[Stradian]

For some weird reason, I can not pick up fallout nv. I guess it just didn't feel like fallout at all, more of a western to me. I will have to wait for a proper overhaul on this one. I perfectly remember fallout one and two, great games. I played 3, it was utter crap. Until I threw overhauls in it, I didn't pick it up.


To be perfectly honest, the greatest game I ever played was Lockon. I'm thinking about saving up for DCS: A-10.

 

[craigix]

Doom3, Frontier: Elite 2.


Both so so boring and repetitive.

 

[second exodous]

Doom3, Frontier: Elite 2.


Both so so boring and repetitive.

Yeah, Doom3 was boring. Most id games are, I feel that most of their games are just to sell an engine. The Doom3 engine was pretty nice, a few games used it and used it well, but Doom3 was so bad that no one wanted to mod their engine. They really lost out to Valve on that one. . .

 

[Aurekana]

Doom3, Frontier: Elite 2.


Both so so boring and repetitive.

Yeah, Doom3 was boring. Most id games are, I feel that most of their games are just to sell an engine. The Doom3 engine was pretty nice, a few games used it and used it well, but Doom3 was so bad that no one wanted to mod their engine. They really lost out to Valve on that one. . .

There were at least a couple good games made with the idtech4 engine (Doom 3 engine), notable Prey and ET:Quake Wars.


They also really lost to the Unreal 2 engine, which was actively pushed to modders through contests and the like.


I agree that Doom 3 was bad; they made it look like a horror game, but messed up on the horror part, the most notable part being that good horror games leave a lot up to your imagination, since your imagination knows what scares you best. Doom 3 sort of went way overboard on trying to startle you, and made a predictable game. When you wander into a room, see two pillars and a wall of lockers, and know that there will be an enemy behind both the pillars and in every locker, and turn out being right, the game just isn't scary anymore.

 

[DaMummy]

you know which game i never cares about that gets a ton of credibility...grant turismo, there, ive said it, go ahead and hate me for it, ill pick mario kart over gran turismo any day

 

[DavidBowman]

I agree that Gran Turismo was boring. I never played more than the first couple for a few minutes at a time though.


Also, Doom 3 wasn't great, but I loved Quake 4 (Doom 3 engine). How creepy was it when you watch yourself getting turned into a Strogg?

 

[second exodous]

Doom3, Frontier: Elite 2.


Both so so boring and repetitive.

Yeah, Doom3 was boring. Most id games are, I feel that most of their games are just to sell an engine. The Doom3 engine was pretty nice, a few games used it and used it well, but Doom3 was so bad that no one wanted to mod their engine. They really lost out to Valve on that one. . .

There were at least a couple good games made with the idtech4 engine (Doom 3 engine), notable Prey and ET:Quake Wars.


They also really lost to the Unreal 2 engine, which was actively pushed to modders through contests and the like.


I agree that Doom 3 was bad; they made it look like a horror game, but messed up on the horror part, the most notable part being that good horror games leave a lot up to your imagination, since your imagination knows what scares you best. Doom 3 sort of went way overboard on trying to startle you, and made a predictable game. When you wander into a room, see two pillars and a wall of lockers, and know that there will be an enemy behind both the pillars and in every locker, and turn out being right, the game just isn't scary anymore.

Unreal 2 was up against Quake III, and it lost, tons and tons of Quake III games. Then every game uses id's code, like HL engine used Quake II code, and HL 2 used Quake III code. I've heard, but don't know if it is true, that Crysis uses some Doom3 code. So even unique engines use id code which makes sense, id is always pushing everything in their games. Well, just not story or atmosphere.

 

[Anihil8ion2199]

I love racing games! But I too feel Gran Turismo is waaaaay overrated, aside from the fact that it is so serious that it fails to be fun for me; even for a simulation...

 

[lulzfish]

I got Gran Turismo 4 or whatever for the PS2 and it was awful.


Had to wait forever for the load screens, and it was way too realistic, I couldn't drive for shit in that game because all the cars handled like actual race cars, except I was driving with a shitty control scheme.


I sort of wonder if my USB racing wheel would work on it, but there's nowhere to hook it up because it's made to be mounted on a keyboard tray, not on a floor or anything useful.


FFX for the PS2 wasn't great, either. The story was pretty interesting the first time, but combat was the main part of the game, and I really wasn't good at it. As usual with FF, the other 90% was shitty minigames that I was even worse at. And I wasn't going to grind at them for days so I could get the super-duper sword for everyone. Fuck that. The game already takes like weeks to play unless you're unemployed or something.

 

[myownlittlworld]

I feel the need to add the product-placement-iest games ever, the Sega Genesis' Cool Spot and Global Gladiators. Both of them are actually kinda good, once you get used to choking on the advertisements they shoved down your throat.

• https://www.youtube.com/embed/WWp_1UQtn5s?feature=oembed
  

Kinda surprisingly, these were put together by the same team that made the amazing Aladdin Genesis game.


Oh yeah, and StarWars 32x was also awesome when I first played it a decade and a half ago, but, coming back to it now, well, it's rough. They had "3D", but not... much else.

 

[SOLGarion]

I feel the need to add the product-placement-iest games ever, the Sega Genesis' Cool Spot and Global Gladiators. Both of them are actually kinda good, once you get used to choking on the advertisements they shoved down your throat.

Avoid the Noid and Yo! Noid are the two that pop up in my mind for product placement games. Used to love Yo! Noid even if it was just a sprite replacement ala Mario 2.

Fixed just for you


Believe it or not, I actually enjoyed Madden for a while, and I hate american football. If there was ever a "sport" invented just so fat people could play and rest every 2 seconds, that was it

Confirmed: American football is a good game that is actually rubbish

I would just like to submit a game that actually uses the Madden Engine. Mutant League Football. Loved it and still do. Not as big a fan of Mutant League Hockey, but the football game was awesome! Even made a short lived Saturday morning cartoon. 2 Seasons and 40 Episodes, worth. Ahhhh childhood.


Why, might you ask, are there mutants and skeletons and such around?


"The game instruction manual states that the exact causes of the upheaval have been lost or corrupted, due to (among many things) the chaos of an alien invasion, spin control, a sloppy filing system set up by a temp, and what appears to be barbecue sauce."<---my kind of humor.

 

[Prometheus]

Used to love Yo! Noid even if it was just a sprite replacement ala Mario 2.

It makes me happy to see that there are others who know this bit of trivia. :lol:

 

[- Theo -]

I would dare to say civilisation

Wait, what??? :blink:


I would say Infinity Blade on iPhone/iPad, personally. This is utter crap, but got amazing reviews because of HD graphics.

 

[Cameleon]

Sonic 3 is considered a classic but when you look at it it's a pile of half broken mechanics and overly inflated game length.

 

[darkborn]

Doom3, Frontier: Elite 2.


Both so so boring and repetitive.

@FE: it is not just about boring, it is too complicated and full of bugs so... fun disappeared. Last I try is Dingoo port: it lacks 10 control buttons at least! OK, at Pandora it could works...


Elite vulgaris is full fun 3D combat (e.g. Thargoids). On the other hand, I tried Frontier:First Encounter remake (FFE D3D) and... wow! Nice one. (FFE is same game as FE for most parts) Just somebody has to make new videos (at docking station)... However, after OOlite I don't feel hot enough for FF & FFE...

 

[AquaAnalogue]

Avoid the Noid and Yo! Noid are the two that pop up in my mind for product placement games. Used to love Yo! Noid even if it was just a sprite replacement ala Mario 2.

Spoiler

It is soooo weird, finding games like this. I know Domino's is a worldwide chain, but in my first 15 years of life my father was a franchise owner of one, then two, then three stores... and to me it seemed like a family business... like any other ma and pa shop.


Then we went bankrupt because the economy sucks and because the whole "eat healthy" fad was just starting because heath nuts had to go and evangelise.


I still hate health nuts-- and the economy.


Finding things like this is so strange. As a kid, I grew up surrounded by Domino's merchandise that was given to franchisees at conferences and in marketing kits. I had Avoid the Noid (and later Bad Andy) cups, figurines, plushes, wall clocks... everything Domino's up until things got bad. I don't understand why I never had any of the games. Perhaps it was because they didn't come free in the marketing kits.


Good times, being the son of a pizza tycoon. Tonnes of free pizza when it was going well.... hanging out in the walk-in cooler... I grew up in that store. I remember the computers that the ordering system used (back when you were allowed to use your own software and hardware). They had little LCD displays on the front which displayed the processor speed in MHz. I believe the central server displayed 133 (lol). These things had turbo buttons, guys. Turbo buttons. I remember playing around with them and the PC my father used to keep payroll and other financial records via an old version of Quicken. I learned most everything I knew about computers just by messing around on those machines. Good times.


My hometown, from which I try to distance myself as much as possible, is full of welfare trash who spawn babies constantly to get money for cigarettes. The school system offers no computer classes, and their technology budget is a fucking joke. If it weren't for my dad's now-defunct business, I wouldn't have ever known shit about computers or gotten anywhere close to where I am today. Wow..... just wow.

tl;dr: you made me reminisce, and go terribly off-topic

 

[craigix]

Do we already have a thread of rubbish games you enjoyed? I'm sure, you, like me, bought utter crap when you were a child and played it until you damn well enjoyed it!


I remember playing Captain Planet on the Amiga until I liked it.