OK, I've had a quick proof read of the
Pyra Pre Order page, there are quite a few typos and few instances of 'unusual' though correct English, almost as if the person who had written is was not a native speaker, perish the thought
Any
suggested changes are in red, it will hopefully be obvious if the suggested change is one of linguistic style, typo correction or perhaps a bit of added salesmanship.
@ The community : Please feel free to suggest better wording and please try to spot any more typos etc. I'm no expert writer / profe reasdrer. I'm just giving it my best shot from the perspective of if I was someone who was not familiar with the project what would I expect to see here to make me want to back the Pyra.
@EvilDragon : 572 pre orders and rising Woo Hoo ! Hope the following is of some use to you, I can't code etc. but like to be able to help the Pandora / Pyra project where I feel able to do so.
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DragonBox Pyra -
The successor of the OpenPandora
The Pyra is the vastly improved successor of the OpenPandora.
A way faster CPU, 5"-HD Screen, backlit keyboard.
The Pyra revolutionises mobile computing by being the first genuinely upgradable pocketable system. The CPU and display PCB
s are socketed!
This means
there is no need to buy a new device
every few years - you can simply update it with a new CPU board
or improved display when it becomes available. This makes the Pyra a lot cheaper
for those who play the long game and also takes care of the environment!
More information about the Pyra can be found on the official homepage!
This is the official preorder of the DragonBox Pyra.
Please read carefully before placing your preorder!
* The payment for the preorder is a DOWNPAYMENT! The final payment will NOT be necessary before the device is
ready to be shipped. If you'd like to pay more upfront, please add a shop voucher to your order which you can then use when the final payment is needed. The downpayment as well as the
vouchers are WITHOUT VAT.
* We cannot say for sure when the delivery will happen. In case any issues occur,
we’d rather fix them than rush things out. We think we'll be able to deliver
the Pyra sometime this year though!
* Be aware that there is ALWAYS a certain risk with such crowdfunding / preorder projects. We already have working prototypes, so it's unlikely the project will fail
especially as we already have enough preorders to ensure that production will go ahead, the risk shouldn't be too high, but I just wanted to point that out.
*
If you have further questions, you might find some answers in the Preorder FAQ, can ask at the english boards or visit the official website. Or, of course, you can ask us here at the shop.
*
If we are in the position to offer different case colours to choose from you’ll be able to select the colour you want with the final order.
*I want to personally thank you for your support with your preorder. I and the team have invested A LOT of time into the Pyra. Your support will help us
to bring the Pyra to life!
Versions and final prices of the Pyra:
ALL versions have the same technical specs like CPU, LCD, storage, WLAN, etc. You can check the specs at the product page and on the official Pyra website.
The Mobile Edition adds mobile internet (3G/4G), as well as
additional sensors (GPS, Altometer, Hygrometer, Barometer, Compass).
There
are 2 versions of the Pyra Mobile edition, one supporting the US-Frequencies and one supporting the EU (and mostly worldwide) frequencies.
* Pyra Standard Edition, 2GB RAM: 500 EUR without VAT (=595 EUR incl. VAT)
* Pyra Standard Edition, 4GB RAM: 529,41 EUR without VAT (=630 EUR incl. VAT)
* Pyra Mobile Edition, 2GB RAM: 600 EUR without VAT (=714 EUR incl. VAT)
* Pyra Mobile Edition, 4GB RAM: 626,05 EUR without VAT (=745 EUR incl. VAT)
If you buy 2 or more Pyras, you will receive a 5% discount for the final payment.
If you live within the EU, you have to pay the prices including VAT.
If you live outside the EU, you pay the prices without VAT, however, depending on the country you live in, you might be charged some import tax.
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Please also consider the following :
- Adding project goals & a running total of the pre orders to date.
- Mentioning what the likely default colour of the Pyra will be if no choice is available.
- Making the web links clearly visible.
- Clearly stating if the price quoted includes delivery and what the delivery charge is likely to be (if applicable).
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