Well, being serious for a second -
I'm presuming that your knowledge of programming is limited/next to nothing if you didn't understand the "Language" question, so...
A very good place to start would be with a language like GLBasic, which you run on your pc, which can make your code into a game that will run on pc, GP2X, mac, Linux or pocket pc with the click of a mouse.
This package allows you to quickly and easily create homebrew games, without going into the nitty gritty of C++, SDL or other more complex programming languages.
It uses a BASIC style language syntax to allow you to get your ideas up and running as games very quickly.
For more info visit
http://www.glbasic.com/main.php?lang=en and visit the forums at
http://www.glbasic.com/forum/index.php
There is a free unlimited time demo available (games will only play for five minutes at a time though) so you can see what it offers.
There is always help at hand and questions are answered very quickly. Lookout for PeeJay's excellent beginner tutorial - if you follow this, you'll be up and running in no time.
![Smile :) :)](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7)