Hmm... That wasn't funny at all... What the hell was the point of doing that? If I were in Tom's shoes, I would have just been like "what the fuck did you do that for, you idiot?" And that would have been the end of it. It was just water... How the fuck is spraying someone with water assault now? What a fucking ass... Eat shit, Tom... All he did was spray you with water... Yeah, it was rude and stupid, but that doesn't mean you have to go and sue the son of a bitch for ASSAULT. That is not assault.
as·sault Audio pronunciation of "assault" ( P ) Pronunciation Key (-sôlt)
n.
1. A violent physical or verbal attack.
2.
1. A military attack, such as one launched against a fortified area or place.
2. The concluding stage of an attack in which close combat occurs with the enemy.
3. Law.
1. An unlawful threat or attempt to do bodily injury to another.
2. The act or an instance of unlawfully threatening or attempting to injure another.
4.
1. Law. Sexual assault.
2. The crime of rape.
Squirting someone with water is not violent, and it is not a threat or attempt to do bodily injury either. Last time I checked, water isn't harmful unless you drink about 10 gallons of it. Celebrities like Tom Cruise are a bunch of pussies, and this whole thing is a bunch of bullshit. For fuck's sake, if what he did pissed you off that much, go dump a bucket of water on him, or if that doesn't suit you, just punch him. Jesus tapdancing christ...
And for the record, I wouldn't really give a flying fuck if someone started squirting me with water pistols. I'd pull out one of my own and fuckin squirt them back. And maybe I'm just an oddball, but I don't mind being wet, and I don't know why the hell everybody else does... even lifeguards... If any water gets on them at all, whether it's accidental or not, they always yell "OMG, STOP GETTING ME WET!!!!!!" like they're gonna fricken melt or something. Holy shit, you're a LIFE GUARD. You don't like getting wet? What the fuck are you gonna do then when someone's drowning? Just let them drown because you don't like to get wet? wtf?