jparish1977
Member
- Joined
- Oct 1, 2016
- Messages
- 89
- Age
- 47
I was married once, terrible idea really.
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Married?
- Thread starter MDave
- Start date
FaeMinx
Rainbow Liberation Instigation
So you would like to go if you had friends?
If you want to party I would say man up and go alone.. worst case you don't enjoy yourself, but you may just make a friend or two if parties are your thing.
I only ever went to parties because my then friends did (I have no friends now - good riddance). I didn't actually enjoy them... I found them too rough, the music too loud, and everyone was too f**ked up (and inconciderate). It was always something of a traumatic experience for me.
If, however, you don't enjoy parties but would like the opportunity to meet a special someone. .. why would you want to meet that person at a party?
In my experience, such a relationship will only bring you trouble.
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Same here. I wish there were more "gentle" parties with less noise, less rude behaviour, no drugs (including alcohol), no smoke and less people shouting and interrupting everyone.
We'd need to organize some gentlemen parties, I guess - nobody would come though since most people would just get bored due to the fact that they're boring people who need all the crap above.
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^ What about finding a few hobby societies to join?
Most hold frequent meetings that involve doing <hobby>, rather than just getting inebriated.
As a result, they attract people who are interested in something other than themselves.
Most hold frequent meetings that involve doing <hobby>, rather than just getting inebriated.
As a result, they attract people who are interested in something other than themselves.
Null
Snug
Lucky you. I sometimes wish I didn't have any, it'd certainly cause me less anxiety relating to whether my friends actually like me or whether they're just pretending to so they can extort things from me.
Caine
Hardcore Member
Nope. 36 and still single.
PCXT
Very Active Member
- Joined
- Sep 14, 2016
- Messages
- 277
- Age
- 36
Nope, going to 30 and not married, not in relationship. Mostly because of appearance, yet recently I found that I don't need it anyway. In most my co-workers cases it seems, especially for someone outside this "mutual admiration society", that being in relationship is quite limiting, especially for men, and most advantages are deeply outdated. More, they don't realize these limits like they're manipulated. I'll better stick with old computers 
.
Now another story: 2 years ago at University where I work I spent one and half hour of Christmas meeting talking with our Tech (also interested in old computers, but more in software) on topic "could DOS do multitasking". Then we ran out to lab and checked on VM. We enjoyed this much more than party.
.I totally agree. That's the reason why I don't go to parties and I think that relationships made with humans going there are as quick as food served there. Not something worth trying IMHO. And that's around all groups of society, even at Universities.
Now another story: 2 years ago at University where I work I spent one and half hour of Christmas meeting talking with our Tech (also interested in old computers, but more in software) on topic "could DOS do multitasking". Then we ran out to lab and checked on VM. We enjoyed this much more than party.
tigerroast
YOUNG VORHEES
Shout's out to all the people who put a ring on it. Good on you for finding The One.
Personally, I've never really been in love with a girl if you don't count the adoration of a single crush. I've been friends with a number of girls, maybe a little closer than that with a few, but it never advanced past that. I liked all of my past friends as people, sure, but I never sparked a flame for someone like that. I want it to happen, but it just never did.
Nowadays, I don't know if I want a relationship. I will always remember the two hearts I broke from a simple, "I just don't feel the same way." Maybe it'll come back around and hit me back, not that I believe in karma or whatever. Maybe I'll never spark a flame like that, but I haven't lived long enough for that to be conclusive. We'll see...perhaps.
Personally, I've never really been in love with a girl if you don't count the adoration of a single crush. I've been friends with a number of girls, maybe a little closer than that with a few, but it never advanced past that. I liked all of my past friends as people, sure, but I never sparked a flame for someone like that. I want it to happen, but it just never did.
Nowadays, I don't know if I want a relationship. I will always remember the two hearts I broke from a simple, "I just don't feel the same way." Maybe it'll come back around and hit me back, not that I believe in karma or whatever. Maybe I'll never spark a flame like that, but I haven't lived long enough for that to be conclusive. We'll see...perhaps.
Someone who loves him-/herself usually has no problem falling in love with someone else - unfortunately that's the problem in most cases these days since in spite of people's vanity and masks of confidence, most don't love themselves at all.
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FaeMinx
Rainbow Liberation Instigation
That is the very reason I push away people who are interested in me.
They think they want me, but they actually don't. ..
They want an idea of me that they created in their minds. They start having a relationship with an illusion and then get upset /manipulative when the reality of me is inconsistent with their delusions.
I unconsciously did the same thing to others in my youth... and it's a terrible terrible place to be - The heartbreak is real... its soul crushing.
I don't want to hurt anyone... but I can't see how that can be avoided if you get involved in any way (even just friendship) with people who are motivated by need.
Need is blinding. and giving in / feeding those needs will only increase their hold over you... and will limit your experience of reality to what you can see through the filter those needs create in your perceptions.
tigerroast
YOUNG VORHEES
@Klumpen I completely agree, but I don't feel like that's my problem. Rather, I have no clue what I'm looking for in a close relationship that I can't get out of friendship. Fun? Shared experiences? Support? Sex? Growth in life? I don't need a life partner for any of that, not in the past and not to this point. As a person who's never really been in love, maybe I'm the worst person to talk about the desire to seek a relationship.
Not that I'm dissing anyone in a relationship; rather, I have much respect for those with a strong, tight-knit bond. I'm forever grateful that my dad blew my mom's back out and that they chose to stay together for 22 years, through the good and bad.
@FaeMinx Even if we're not in the same boat, I can strongly empathize with your sentiments in this regard. When someone I don't feel strongly about wants me to share my life with them, I'm just like, I don't know what you thought this was, but it isn't. Some people might view that as savage or whatever, but it's just the reality, nothing more nothing less.
You absolutely hit the nail on the head for neediness. The issue with me is that I've never been able to spot that neediness right away, so the cutoff would end up more harsh than if it happened in the beginning. You can't avoid hurting the needy ones because the #1 worst thing you can do is not give them what they need. It hurts the most when the only thing someone else needs is for me to love them, and I don't.
Personally, neediness has generally never been a problem for me because I've never allowed it to be a problem.
Not that I'm dissing anyone in a relationship; rather, I have much respect for those with a strong, tight-knit bond. I'm forever grateful that my dad blew my mom's back out and that they chose to stay together for 22 years, through the good and bad.
@FaeMinx Even if we're not in the same boat, I can strongly empathize with your sentiments in this regard. When someone I don't feel strongly about wants me to share my life with them, I'm just like, I don't know what you thought this was, but it isn't. Some people might view that as savage or whatever, but it's just the reality, nothing more nothing less.
You absolutely hit the nail on the head for neediness. The issue with me is that I've never been able to spot that neediness right away, so the cutoff would end up more harsh than if it happened in the beginning. You can't avoid hurting the needy ones because the #1 worst thing you can do is not give them what they need. It hurts the most when the only thing someone else needs is for me to love them, and I don't.
Personally, neediness has generally never been a problem for me because I've never allowed it to be a problem.
Null
Snug
Your very own bottomless money pit.
DrHAX
T̶h̶e̶ ̶A̶u̶t̶h̶o̶r̶ The Artist
- Joined
- Sep 18, 2013
- Messages
- 850
I picked engaged... because it's true but honestly we may as well be married. She's the only person in my life.
We've been through hell and back.. and we understand each other in ways most people don't. I'm convinced we're enjoying the same insanity.
We've been through hell and back.. and we understand each other in ways most people don't. I'm convinced we're enjoying the same insanity.
notaz
Certified Guru
How is that even possible? In my experience it can only be emulated.
Xcl4m4t10n
Advanced Member
- Joined
- Dec 18, 2009
- Messages
- 1,209
