JDUK
Member
Best way out of school and to avoid a trip to the doctors (just in case). Buy some Milk of magnesium, eat 3 helpings of dinner(to load up on "ammo") the night before the day you want off and drink about half a bottle of the milk of magnesium(Measurement based on grown man of 14 stone; reduce dosage based on sex and body weight) before you go to bed. You will have the shits for a good 4 days and your farts will clear rooms and peel paint. You wont be able to make it 5 steps out the door before you rush back into the toilet so no school no doctors just sitting on the loo playing your GP all day
No embarrassment of buying laxatives (its [ spam word ] for indigestion),
No risk of ending up in the Dr's (unless you have very paranoid parents, blame it on over eating the night before)
When the teacher asks why you haven't been attending school just tell them you had the shits... That never invites further questioning.
But be warned drinking that much before you go to sleep could lead to some embarrassing accidents during the night... but all the better to make your illness look real. You can die from the shits(in EXREME cases) , it dehydrates you so drink lots off water.
No embarrassment of buying laxatives (its [ spam word ] for indigestion),
No risk of ending up in the Dr's (unless you have very paranoid parents, blame it on over eating the night before)
When the teacher asks why you haven't been attending school just tell them you had the shits... That never invites further questioning.
But be warned drinking that much before you go to sleep could lead to some embarrassing accidents during the night... but all the better to make your illness look real. You can die from the shits(in EXREME cases) , it dehydrates you so drink lots off water.