Cases, Schmases, I don't need them. Back in our day we had no such thing as cases, we called them 'donkeyskins', and they were made from the skins of hollowed out pigs. Of course back in those days we called them donkeys, that's how we got the name 'donkeyskins'. And each and every Tuesday the families would gather up, and would say "Time to skin some donkeys" and we'd all get our knives out, except the little ones, they would hold up their Roosevelts -- that's what we called forks, as was the style at the time -- that damn Roosevelt. He used to dig up dirt on people he didn't like, that's why we called him a fork. Of course a spade would have been a better word, but it got confused with cards...if we called him a spade, who was the diamond, or the club, or so forth. I missed one, didn't I, oh yes...that would be the heart. I always preferred the diamond, whenever I played poker, it was always "Diamond's Mine" , which was a joke, based on a diamond mine. I looked through my cards, you see, even if I had four of the same number, I would only put down the diamond. Of course I lost a lot of money, but it was worth it. Ladies used to come up to me, and I would buy them diamonds. I got three wives that way. Of course I've had a lot of lovers ... diamonds or not, I used to call myself "Slick Jimmy". My name wasn't Jimmy, but that wasn't the point. I counted them on my bedpost, you see. I seem to recall the last count at about 300, which incidentally was the total number of posts I have now, upon finishing this little waffle, and I thank you for reading it all. Hope the Grandpa references didn't annoy you too much.
